Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Sometimes I feel as if I'm always about two paces behind the rest of the world and trying to keep up. I just don't seem to be able to get everything done. I hate people who are always late, always making excuses -- and now I'm becoming one of them.

I put off things that I don't want to do, like pay my income taxes, for instance. That's something that you can't put off too long unless you want to end up in big trouble. But I can put it off for a little while -- so I do. 

I already have the tax form filled out, and that's the hard part. Well, actually, the hard part is getting all the receipts and information together. I put that off too, but I finally got my act together about mid March. 

So, my taxes were filed electronically a month ago. All I have to do is write out a check. Why do I keep waiting until the last minute? It is going to cost the same amount regardless.

And I need to make hotel reservations for a writer's conference in June. It's a phone call, that's all. The plane tickets are reserved, the registration is done, but for some strange reason I keep putting off the call to the hotel. I'll do it tomorrow when I have more time. 

But I never have more time. 

I'm putting off doctor appointments until my prescriptions run out and I either have to make an appointment or do without medicine. And the dentist? Forget it! I post-phoned my appointment and changed it to a later date when have more time.

Just do it and get it over with, says my honey. Yes, I know, but there's always tomorrow. Why be in a hurry? And because I'm not in a hurry, it never gets done.

Finally, last night, things caved in on me. 

I called the hotel and the rooms were all booked. They squeezed me in. I have to get organized as my life has gone askew. It is the small things, the easy things, but when the list gets long enough, it becomes a big thing, like carrying around a backpack of bricks.

I finally buckled and tried to do everything in one evening. 

I thought I was finished, until today when I started to remember the things that I forgot to do -- like send the lawn guy a check for mowing the yard. I really meant to do that too. When my grass is six inches high, I'll be asking, Did I remember to pay him? 

My life is consumed by trivia, details, small stuff. It's the minor things in life that rule. Small things should only take a minute or two, but when all the minutes are end to end, they reach into eternity. 

I have no time. I have no life. It is consumed with trivial pursuit, unimportant stuff, minor details that become major because they don't get done.

Maybe I'll turn over a new leaf. Maybe I'll start doing things as they come up instead of letting them go until they can go on no longer.

Who am I kidding? I'm thinking of ways to avoid doing what I don't want to do right now. I need to go to the post office, but it looks as if it may rain. I can get stamps tomorrow at the grocery store.

It's easier to make excuses than to make a "to do" list. Somehow it makes me feel important to believe that I don't have time. 

I just hope the IRS will understand. 

Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss

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