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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner,
Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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BY Sheila Moss...
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The
holly bush grew larger and larger, the wild sprouts taller and more difficult to
reach. Each time I seemed to have to climb to a higher step on the ladder until
there were no steps left, at least none that could be navigated safely.
Once
a year I go through the nuisance of going to the eye doctor. Oh, the aggravation
of it all. And those awful drops that dilate your pupils and make everything
fuzzy for hours.
My appointment is always made a year ahead so the doctor will be sure to get my
repeat business without interruption.
My
daughter had three clown figurines in my grandson's room when he was a toddler.
He didn't like them and she was going to throw them away until I rescued them. I
had to promise to take them to work where my grandson's eyes would not see them.
They stand there looking down over my desk from the bookshelf.
It’s
getting harder and harder to back seat drive these days, but I get a lot of
practice with life in the fast lane while commuting to work every day. The speed
limit on the Interstate is 70 miles an hour, but that seems to be merely a
suggestion. The actual speed limit is as-fast-as- you-can-go-without- hitting
-the-car-in- front-of-you. This
offers excellent back seat driving opportunities.
It
usually happens when I'm innocently looking for something and
end up on eBay. I start browsing and first thing you know I find
something I simply must have. My body takes control of my common
sense and forces me to bid.
It's the fever -- auction fever. Once you decide you want
something enough to bid on it, you can't stand it if someone
else bids higher than you do
'I
went to Walmart to check out the selection, which wasn't the
greatest. What does a grandma know about buying a Barbie doll? I
selected a pretty-faced, blond called Beach Party Barbie and a
package of assorted Barbie clothes. So far I had a Barbie
investment of under $25.
Lately my granddaughter has been coming to visit. While I keep a
supply of all occasion toys, I found that I had a gross
deficiency in toys geared toward little girls. I needed to add a
few girly-girl toys directed toward her more feminine interests.
I
have recently returned from a trip to Indiana University for the
annual conference of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
The three days there were such a swirl of experiences that I feel a
bit like the monitor of my computer, which was green when I sat down
to write. The computer monitor was easy to fix once I found the right
button, but my own button is a bit harder to reset.
In most college towns there is a wide diversity of intellectual
experiences and Indiana University is certainly typical in that
respect. We crammed a whole lot of activity into a very short time.
Gizmo is really a good dog most of the time. He's a 15 years
old Sheltie who long ago outlived most of the other dogs of
his breed. He spends most of his days napping and dreaming.
His arthritis prevents much running and playing, and we don't
think he hears or sees too well either.
Here lately, he really has us worried as he won't eat. He just
doesn't seem to like his dog food any more. People food is
another story. He is the world's biggest moocher when anyone
is trying to eat. But the vet said "no people food"
as it isn't good for him.
I
don't know what it is with me and tooth problems lately. I've
made about six trips to the dentist office in the last few
weeks. I spend more time there than the dentist does. Pretty
soon I am going to ask for a designated parking space.
It all started when I had my teeth cleaned. I always have my
six month checkup so I won't have any dental emergencies.
Apparently, you can still have emergencies, regular checkups
or not. Life is not fair.
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Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

Seen In

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Follow me on Twitter
@SheilaMoss
This
Old Corvette

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With
Sheila's Article
"The Ego Car"
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Including "How to
Spoil a Grandchild and Alienate a Daughter-in-Law in One Easy Lesson"
CASH IN ON LAUGHTER (Let There Be Laughter!)
Look for Sheila's
articles in this and other Guidepost Books Let There Be Laughter Series
"Courage for a New Day" non-humor
contribution to book
Last Update
August 29, 2010
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