Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about her daily life or anything else that she finds amusing.
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal and
Oakridge Now. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers
organization.She is writer, edison, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Humor of Sheila Moss...
'er done Larry the Cable Guy advises. I need to clean my closet in the
worse way. Perfect, I think as I look out the window. It is pouring
rain outside. Spring is here and my closet is stuffed with corduroy,
suede, and wool things I will not wear until next winter.
I'm not one of those persons blessed with a walk-in closet. My closet
must change with the seasons, which means twice a year I remove all
the things that I can't wear for a while and take them upstairs to the
attic, a chore I despise.
Hear ye, hear ye,
management hath decreed that all staff shall have a new PC
whether they need it or not. Well, actually, I sort of do need a
new computer. My old office machine was perfectly fine until it
was loaded down with bloated programs that require more
resources to run than the city of New York.
week I was feeling sorry for myself. Like many women, I tend to
take care of the needs of others and forget about myself. It was
wearing me down. Time to take care of me, I decided.
I made the announcement to my family: "I will not be on
duty this Saturday; I am taking a 'me' day."
were at the grocery store when I spotted something that looked
good, fresh unbaked pizza. It would make a quick supper when we
got home, so I tossed it in the cart. I was sure fresh pizza
would taste much better than frozen and be quicker than a
view of the recent media flap over a plus-size dress called
"manatee gray" sold by Target, I felt it my
journalistic duty to tell the other side of the story.
It has been widely reported that when Target found out plus-size
women were insulted by having a dress named after a sea cow,
they quickly apologized and changed the name to plain old gray.
we have a special treat for you, an interview with a childhood
favorite, the Easter Bunny.
Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule today. It's
sad but some people do not believe in you. How do you feel about
Are You Smarter than Your Smart Phone?
I lost my phone today. . . again. I think maybe I am not smart
enough to have a smart phone. I am a loser. I first missed it at
work this morning. I always put it in my pocket so it will be
handy if it rings. I dug and dug in my purse, but it wasn't
there. I was not too worried. I must have left it at home. Drat
it! No checking email at lunch today or surfing the internet. It
was an aggravation, but I would survive.
How to Stretch Shoes
The shoes felt
fine in the store, but when I got them home, they suddenly didn't fit.
I can't understand it. They are the same size I always wear. A larger
size would be too big. They will stretch out after I wear them a few
times, I thought, but I couldn't wear them long enough to stretch
them. I found myself hobbling around the office or kicking them off
under the desk. So, I did what any woman facing such a dilemma would do. I hid them in
the back of the closet and tried to forget about them.
Pursuit of a Purse
all ladies know, we must have a purse to haul about our
"stuff." The amount of stuff needed depends on the
individual lady, but all of us need something to carry it in, whether
large or small.
As Seen On TV
you ever get tempted by those TV commercials and become the proud
owner of something you don't need? You know the kind of commercial,
"Hurry and buy now and we will send you two instead of one."
Oh, you get the item, but it is always something of questionable
quality that you would never buy in a store. You don't need one, much
The Fashion Police Are On Duty
is a citation to appear before the Fashion Police to be criticized.
It's fashion week in New York, the only reason needed for the Fashion
Police to be out in full force. The clothes you think are cool are not
cool at all. "Comfortable" is not a word in our vocabulary.
Comfortable does not make a fashion statement. You must learn to value
being fashionable over being comfortable.
Online Dating Site
played what they thought was a hilarious joke and subscribed me
to a free online dating service called ChristianMingle. I
thought it was a law that email subscriptions must give you a
link to unsubscribe. However, I clicked the unsubscribe link and
it took me to the web site with no way to quit.
Cell Phone Cover Craze
don't know why a cell phone needs a case. The manufacturer has
probably spent a zillion dollars designing a phone with beauty and
functionality. Yet, the first thing most people want to do is cover it
up with a case.
An Interview with Siri
I first met Siri when I purchased an iPad, but she also can be found on
my iPhone. Siri is a talking personal assistant with artificial
intelligence. I tried to interview her.
Press and hold down the start button and Siri pops up, just like a genie
in a bottle.
SIRI: Hi, Sheila, what can I do for you?
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Nashville, TN 37219
"The Ego Car"
Including "How to
Spoil a Grandchild and Alienate a Daughter-in-Law in One Easy Lesson"
CASH IN ON LAUGHTER (Let There Be Laughter!)
Look for Sheila's
articles in this and other Guidepost Books Let There Be Laughter Series
"Courage for a New Day" non-humor
contribution to book
May 14, 2013