Humor Columnist

HOMEBESTCOLUMNSHUMORARCHIVESCONTACT
 
 HOME

 COLUMNIST

 BEST

 COLUMNS

 ARCHIVES

 HUMOR 

 EDITOR  INFO

 FIREFLIES

 LONDON 

 EGYPT SERIES

 NEW ENGLAND

 FRIENDS

 LINK TO US

 WEB RINGS

 LINKS

 LINK SWAP

 SUBSCRIBE

 CONTACT

Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is a free-lance writer from  Tennessee. She writes  funny stuff about her daily life or anything else that  she finds amusing.

She is seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal  and Oakridge Now. She has written for  Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books have  published a number of her articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of books. Her articles have appeared in numerous other publications, both in print and online.

She is a former board member and Web Editor of  Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers organization.She is writer, edison, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com

To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy.


 
Sheila Moss


Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

   
National Society of
Newspaper Columnists

HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Humor of Sheila Moss... 

 

Git 'er Done


Git 'er done Larry the Cable Guy advises. I need to clean my closet in the worse way. Perfect, I think as I look out the window. It is pouring rain outside. Spring is here and my closet is stuffed with corduroy, suede, and wool things I will not wear until next winter.

I'm not one of those persons blessed with a walk-in closet. My closet must change with the seasons, which means twice a year I remove all the things that I can't wear for a while and take them upstairs to the attic, a chore I despise.

Processing the Upgrade


Hear ye, hear ye, management hath decreed that all staff shall have a new PC whether they need it or not. Well, actually, I sort of do need a new computer. My old office machine was perfectly fine until it was loaded down with bloated programs that require more resources to run than the city of New York.

 

The Me Day

Last week I was feeling sorry for myself. Like many women, I tend to take care of the needs of others and forget about myself. It was wearing me down. Time to take care of me, I decided.

I made the announcement to my family: "I will not be on duty this Saturday; I am taking a 'me' day."


The Fresh, Not Frozen Pizza

We were at the grocery store when I spotted something that looked good, fresh unbaked pizza. It would make a quick supper when we got home, so I tossed it in the cart. I was sure fresh pizza would taste much better than frozen and be quicker than a carry-out pizza.



Sea Cow Interview

In view of the recent media flap over a plus-size dress called "manatee gray" sold by Target, I felt it my journalistic duty to tell the other side of the story.

It has been widely reported that when Target found out plus-size women were insulted by having a dress named after a sea cow, they quickly apologized and changed the name to plain old gray.


Interview with Peter Cottontail

Today we have a special treat for you, an interview with a childhood favorite, the Easter Bunny.

Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule today. It's sad but some people do not believe in you. How do you feel about that?



Are You Smarter than Your Smart Phone?


I lost my phone today. . . again. I think maybe I am not smart enough to have a smart phone. I am a loser. I first missed it at work this morning. I always put it in my pocket so it will be handy if it rings. I dug and dug in my purse, but it wasn't there. I was not too worried. I must have left it at home. Drat it! No checking email at lunch today or surfing the internet. It was an aggravation, but I would survive.

 

How to Stretch Shoes


The shoes felt fine in the store, but when I got them home, they suddenly didn't fit. I can't understand it. They are the same size I always wear. A larger size would be too big. They will stretch out after I wear them a few times, I thought, but I couldn't wear them long enough to stretch them. I found myself hobbling around the office or kicking them off under the desk. So, I did what any woman facing such a dilemma would do. I hid them in the back of the closet and tried to forget about them.


In Pursuit of a Purse

As all ladies know, we must have a purse to haul about our "stuff." The amount of stuff needed depends on the individual lady, but all of us need something to carry it in, whether large or small.

 


 As Seen On TV

Do you ever get tempted by those TV commercials and become the proud owner of something you don't need? You know the kind of commercial, "Hurry and buy now and we will send you two instead of one." Oh, you get the item, but it is always something of questionable quality that you would never buy in a store. You don't need one, much less two.



The Fashion Police Are On Duty


Greetings: This is a citation to appear before the Fashion Police to be criticized.

It's fashion week in New York, the only reason needed for the Fashion Police to be out in full force. The clothes you think are cool are not cool at all. "Comfortable" is not a word in our vocabulary. Comfortable does not make a fashion statement. You must learn to value being fashionable over being comfortable.

The Online Dating Site

Someone played what they thought was a hilarious joke and subscribed me to a free online dating service called ChristianMingle. I thought it was a law that email subscriptions must give you a link to unsubscribe. However, I clicked the unsubscribe link and it took me to the web site with no way to quit.



The Cell Phone Cover Craze

Apple iPhone 5 TPU soft case clear purple black grey blue  newI don't know why a cell phone needs a case. The manufacturer has probably spent a zillion dollars designing a phone with beauty and functionality. Yet, the first thing most people want to do is cover it up with a case.

 


An Interview with Siri

I first met Siri when I purchased an iPad, but she also can be found on my iPhone. Siri is a talking personal assistant with artificial intelligence. I tried to interview her.

Press and hold down the start button and Siri pops up, just like a genie in a bottle.

SIRI: Hi, Sheila, what can I do for you?

 


 

 
 


Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter

Sheila Moss


Promote Your Page Too

LIKE MY PAGE


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
E-Mail

Seen In


This Old Corvette 

Click to Buy

With Sheila's Article
"The Ego Car"
 


Including "How to Spoil a Grandchild and Alienate a Daughter-in-Law in One Easy Lesson"


CASH IN ON LAUGHTER (Let There Be Laughter!)

Look for Sheila's articles in this and other Guidepost Books  Let There Be Laughter Series


"Courage for a New Day"  non-humor contribution to book

 


Last Update
May 14, 2013

      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © Copyright 1999-2012 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by thetemplatestore.com
The copyright in this website and the material on this website is owned by Sheila Moss.
You may request permission to use the copyright materials on this website by writing to Sheila Moss.
Use of these copyright materials without written permission may result in legal action against you.