to Planet Christmas where it is Christmas 365 days a year!"
"Is this for real? How can it be Christmas
every day? Everyone knows that Christmas comes only once a year,
on December 25th."
"We are infested with ladybugs, thousands,
all over the house outside, coming in through every crack!"
It was a text message from my daughter.
Naturally, it was at a time when I was so busy at the office I
could not spare a second for anything, much less bugs.
I wonder how my hair would look blue?
The other day I saw a
woman with long hair streaked with dark blue color. I guess I was a little
shocked and that was probably the intended result, or else she simply wanted to
be noticed. Maybe both. I could not resist taking a picture when the woman's
back was turned. She seemed perfectly normal in other ways, was even pushing a
granddaughter was visiting, as usual, and moping around that she
had nothing to do. Since computers came along, kids have the
idea that they should be entertained 24/7, but even computer
games become boring after a while.
Kids need activities to keep them occupied.
"Why don't you ask your dad to take you to the pumpkin
I don't know how it happened, boss. Coke has been number one for
over a decade. Everyone loves a Coke. "It's the real
thing." We made that slogan up ourselves, right here in the
And now we've been displaced, reduced to a mere number three as
the best known brand in the world. It is downright
Dear Fairbanks International Airport:
would like to apologize for all the fuss I created this week when I
drove my car on the airport runway. I am not a terrorist and I was not
trying to hijack a plane or blow up the airport. I have a new Apple
iPhone and was trying out the Apple maps navigation app. All I wanted
to do was return my rental car. How was I supposed to know that nice,
wide, concrete road was not for cars?
the new open office plan at our office, we have something new to gripe about
besides each other. You see, experts have discovered that with an open office
plan, you can not only see each other, you can also hear each other. What a
Experts came up with a way to overcome this little distraction. It's called
"white noise." We are not exactly sure where it is coming from. For
all we know space aliens may have brought it from another planet. It certainly
sounds like something from out of this world.
was a weekend morning, and I flipped on the TV hoping to watch "Tennessee
Crossroads," one of my favorite programs on local public television.
Instead, the channel was having a fund raiser and showing a program about
"Um, this is kind of interesting. I might as well watch it."
tired of doing nothing," I said. "We never do anything
anymore except go to work, do chores, do errands, watch TV and
go back to work. We need to do some fun things. We are in a
"I'm ready what do you want to do?"
"Well, I heard about something that sounds like fun - a
"What's a tomato festival?"
must have been a stroke of genius when my grandson named her
Frisky. I have to admit, the current problem is at least
partly my fault, so I can't in good conscious say too much.
Nevertheless, a normal cat would not behave this way. Frisky,
of course, is not a normal cat.
am I always buying new luggage? I don't know, but here I go again. It
seems that I cannot keep decent luggage for some reason and every time
I go somewhere, I have to buy a suitcase. I'm going to a conference
next week, and this time is no exception.
a man is sick, he wants everyone to know it. "Cough,
cough," said my honey. I didn't respond.
"Are you sick?" I asked. "Yes," he responded
weakly. But being a male, he decided he would go to work anyhow
and share his germs with others.
week I was feeling sorry for myself. Like many women, I tend to
take care of the needs of others and forget about myself. It was
wearing me down. Time to take care of me, I decided.
I made the announcement to my family: "I will not be on
duty this Saturday; I am taking a 'me' day."