Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
It’s
not every day that the Blue Angels come to town. It was the
weekend for the big, every-once-in-a-while air show in my
hometown -- nationally known flyer's from all over and a high
profile flying group too.
“So,
what’s the big deal about mules?” asked my grandson, as he
skated in circles balancing himself on the heels of his wheeled
tennis shoes, a new skill he is just now beginning to master.
We are trying to get ready to go to Columbia, Tennessee, for the
annual Mule Day parade. Not that I’m crazy about mules, or
anything else equine, but it’s something different to do, and
a chance to get away from the omnipresent computer games that
consume a child’s mind these days.
Spring
is totally out of control. Why can’t we have proper seasons like we
used to have? The seasons need to learn to behave and come and go when
expected. Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago that it was snowing? Now,
suddenly, and with no warning whatsoever, the crabapple trees are in
full bloom and the kids are practicing for baseball.
I’m still wearing turtle-neck sweaters, for heaven sakes!
Since
Starbucks has been in the news lately, I decided to give them another try and do
a bit of field research for a column. I’m not a gourmet coffee person. My idea
of gourmet coffee is buying a cup at Mapco when I stop for gas.
I was supposed to make chili this weekend to take to the office
today. What can I do? It’s time to go to work --- too late to
cook now. They are counting on me, and there may not be enough
chili without mine!
Now, I’ve never been very musical. I tried to learn to play a
guitar, even took lessons once and learned a few chords, which I soon
forgot. Learning to play a musical instrument is hard if you’ve
never tried it.
I made a
complete fool of myself today. . . not that it is anything new.
Usually, however, I do so with some notion that such an outcome is a
possibility.
Let me explain what happened.
To begin with, you should know that I am planning to go on a trip to
Orlando in the near future. On my very first trip to Disneyland years
ago, I purchased a Mickey Mouse watch as a souvenir. Since then, I
have always purchased a Mickey Mouse watch any time I visit Mouseland.
It’s a tradition.
Day 1 -
I come home from work and find the garage door partly open. "What's going
on?" I wonder. I go inside to check and find a strange dog in the garage.
Whose dog is that? "Get! Go away! Shoo!"
I guess I will just leave the garage door open until it decides to leave. I've
seen him around here before, but I'm not sure whose dog he is.
Day 2 - My daughter informs me that the black lab belongs to the
neighbors. "They are gone for the weekend. Something could happen to
him."
Some
people find their niche in writing, some in teaching, some in computers,
and so on. I'm afraid my niche is in hoarding junk. I am blessed, or
cursed, with a large attic. The idea was that some day it would be
finished into extra bedrooms. It never happened. Instead it gradually
filled up with junk.
It’s
not every day that the Blue Angels come to town. It was the
weekend for the big, every-once-in-a-while air show in my
hometown -- nationally known flyer's from all over and a high
profile flying group too.
