Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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Online Since 1999
I hate 'em. I headed for the kitchen for a cup of coffee, hoping it
would help open my eyes so I could see how to brush my teeth.
I stopped at the kitchen door and rubbed my bleary eyes.
Bubbles drifted in the air and my daughter floated by. I must still be
I rubbed my eyes again, but she didn't go away. She was in the kitchen
dancing with the mop. Why anyone would be mopping at this hour, I
wondered as she and the mop danced by again.
Why are there bubbles in my kitchen?
"What's going on?" Obviously something was. My kitchen
doesn't suddenly decide to take a bubble bath.
"You should have seen it before," she sobbed, almost in
tears. "I walked in this morning and it was sea of blue soap. It
came rushing at me in a big wave, like a tsunami."
A tsunami in my kitchen? Surely, I must still be asleep, I thought.
Unfortunately, I was not.
She continued the story. "It was the cat -- the stupid cat. I'm
going to kill it."
It seems that we had left the brand new 60 oz. bottle of liquid
laundry soap setting on the kitchen counter when we unpacked the
groceries. Somehow, the cat had managed to knock it off and when it
hit the floor, the bottle split and a flood of liquid soap flowed out.
"There was too much soap to mop up," she sniffed.
"I had to shovel it up with the dust pan. I've been shoveling for
"When I started mopping it only became worse," she
continued. "The more I mopped, the more bubbles there were."
So, she had my grandson look on the Internet to see what to do.
You mean this happens to other people? People besides us spill entire
bottles of liquid detergent? It's on the Internet?
By now the bubbles were starting to subside a bit and my daughter was
only up to her ankles instead of her knees.
"It said to add cooking oil." she said. "I was a little
bit leery but figured what could be worse than this?"
What could be worse? Maybe an oil spill? I can't believe it, a tsunami
and an oil spill in my kitchen on the same morning. Is this a disaster
But the oil worked and the bubbles were finally contained. She and the
mop skated away on the oily new skating rink I used to call a kitchen
Do you need some help? I asked. I guess I didn't sound too
"No, I'll do it. It's my cat." Glad she remembered that.
Speaking of the cat, we never did figure out how he escaped from the
kitchen without even getting soap on his feet.
Eventually most of the soap was gone, but the floor remained sticky.
Our shoes clung to the floor with every step.
"How can I get rid of this stuff?" She asked.
Good question. Maybe vinegar? Vinegar will clean just about anything,
Actually, I wasn't sure if it would work on a tsunami, but we were
So, she tried vinegar and finally was able to get rid of the last of
I have the cleanest kitchen floor in town now, and it smells
Something about that smell makes me hungry for a
tossed salad, though.
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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