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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner,
Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Bird Clock Revisited.... |
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Bird Clock
Revisited
Several years ago when they were popular, I wrote
a column called “Singing Bird Clock”. It has remained a
perpetual favorite with readers. Probably all of you already
know what a singing bird clock is, but just in case, I’ll
explain it one more time.
First, a singing bird clock is not to be confused with a cuckoo
clock, which also sings, but is an entirely different clock. By
the way, a clock-fixing friend of mine says that cuckoo clocks do
come from Germany, but they are made for the American market not
the locals. What a disappointment.
Anyhow, I just want to make it clear that we are not talking about
a little bird popping out of a carved wooden clock. I’m sure, however,
that any cuckoo is a cut above a singing bird clock. Singing bird
clocks are usually wall hanging, battery-operated clocks with
pictures of birds replacing the numbers. Every hour, you get
a different bird sound.
Now I thought the singing bird clock was bad, until I found out
there are much worse ones out there. Due to the success of the birds,
there are now clocks that make all sorts of sounds. One
friend actually confessed to buying a barking dog clock in a
moment of mental fatigue. A different dog barking every
hour? I don’t think I need that.
My clock, as I said, is ultra cheap - a piece of junk. An
over-powering whelm of some sort must have caused me to buy it. At one
time these clocks were highly advertised on television. I
hate to think I was brainwashed by a T.V. ad, but I have a feeling
that’s what happened. While newer, more expensive models
have pleasant bird sounds, the piece of junk I have has birds like
owls and woodpeckers.
Anyhow, my cheap-o clock stopped singing several years ago.
I thought it was the batteries, but I replaced them and still not
a peep. Oh well, it still kept time. I just left it hanging and decided it was
really not so bad the way it was. It was sort of peaceful without the owl
hoots.
The other day my cat was prowling around looking for trouble, as
usual. For some reason the motion of the clock hands caught his
attention and he decided to inspect. Somehow the cat managed
to climb furniture to the clock and knock it off the wall and onto
the floor.
“That’s the end of the singing bird clock,” I figured.
Not a great loss. I had passing thoughts of getting another one - a better one this
time. But, I picked up the old clock and replaced the batteries that were
knocked out when it fell, and it began to sing.
I couldn’t believe it. The cat had fixed the clock.
I returned it to the wall and it has been hooting, pecking, and
singing happily ever since. The cat is quite pleased with the clock
now. You can imagine what an entire chorus of singing birds does for a cat when
merely the motion of the hands attracted him.
The strangest thing about this clock is that people reading my
first column write me to ask where they can buy a clock like this. Some
people even try to buy my clock, figuring I don’t like it
anyhow. It seems that they quit making this particular hoot-owl version. Small wonder. Some
folks had a sentimental attachment to it, broke it, and want another one
“just like it”.
I don’t have any clocks to sell. Furthermore, I now am
becoming rather fond of my clock and have almost developed a
sentimental attachment since the cat fixed it. I’m
thinking that maybe the cat and I should go into the clock repair
business.
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Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

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