Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Puppy Love....

Puppy Love

Oh, no!  How can she be in heat?  She is still a puppy, only 8 months old. 

“Well, I don’t know, but she was blinking her eyelashes and shaking her buns at the neighbor’s lab.” 

The black lab?  Oh, my gosh! 

She is a tiny little Shih tzu, a froo froo dog.  She could not possibly be flirting with a lab.

“I grabbed her up and ran inside before they had time to get friendly,” said my honey.

We had meant to have her “fixed” before she was old enough to have a family.  That’s the last thing we need, a dog in heat.  We have to do something! 

We called the vet.

“It’s normal.” He explained.  “They can come in heat for the first time at six months.”

“Can we get her spayed now?  Today?  It’s an emergency?” 

“We can get her in this Friday.  It will cost extra because she is already in heat.”

I do not want any puppies.  I already have two dogs and two cats.  No more animals, please.  Especially not any half-breed mongrel puppies.

So, we waited until Friday.  We waited, looking both ways before taking her outside to be sure there were no other dogs around.  We waited, grabbing her up and running inside when neighbors walked their dogs. 

It was a long three days. 

She was wild. She made love with her toy rabbit, trying to become the mother of a litter of stuffed toy bunnies.  She dragged cushions around, pretending they were boyfriends.

It was awful!

Finally the time came and we took her for her operation.  At last it was over. The extra money was worth the price.  We would have paid anything. 

The dog was proud of her stitches and rolled over to show off her tummy. 

“Don’t show them to us!  Show them to the neighbor’s lab before he gets any more amorous ideas."

She was not supposed to jump around after having surgery.  Unfortunately, the vet told us -- not her. 

She jumped on the sofa.

“No!” We grabbed her and put her gently on the floor. 

She jumped back, and then she rolled over. How do you keep a frisky dog from jumping?  After the first day or so, we gave up.  
Fortunately, she did not try to chew the stitches out.  I think she was too proud of them.

She went back to the vet today to get her stitches out.  She has no idea what happened to her, other than the fact that she had a long nap at the vet’s office and didn’t feel too well afterwards. 

And now we don’t have to worry about unwanted puppies anymore. 

Listen to your animal control organizations.  Have your pets spayed or neutered. 

Listen to me.  Don’t wait.

Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss

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