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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner,
Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Puppy Love.... |
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Puppy Love
Oh,
no! How can she be in heat? She is still a puppy, only 8
months old.
“Well, I don’t know, but she was blinking her eyelashes and
shaking her buns at the neighbor’s lab.”
The black lab? Oh, my gosh!
She is a tiny little Shih tzu, a froo froo dog. She could not
possibly be flirting with a lab.
“I grabbed her up and ran inside before they had time to get
friendly,” said my honey.
We had meant to have her “fixed” before she was old enough to have
a family. That’s the last thing we need, a dog in heat.
We have to do something!
We called the vet.
“It’s normal.” He explained. “They can come in heat for
the first time at six months.”
“Can we get her spayed now? Today? It’s an
emergency?”
“We can get her in this Friday. It will cost extra because she
is already in heat.”
I do not want any puppies. I already have two dogs and two cats.
No more animals, please. Especially not any half-breed mongrel
puppies.
So, we waited until Friday. We waited, looking both ways before
taking her outside to be sure there were no other dogs around.
We waited, grabbing her up and running inside when neighbors walked
their dogs.
It was a long three days.
She was wild. She made love with her toy rabbit, trying to become the
mother of a litter of stuffed toy bunnies. She dragged cushions
around, pretending they were boyfriends.
It was awful!
Finally the time came and we took her for her operation. At last
it was over. The extra money was worth the price. We would
have paid anything.
The dog was proud of her stitches and rolled over to show off her
tummy.
“Don’t show them to us! Show them to the neighbor’s lab
before he gets any more amorous ideas."
She was not supposed to jump around after having surgery. Unfortunately,
the vet told us -- not her.
She jumped on the sofa.
“No!” We grabbed her and put her gently on the floor.
She jumped back, and then she rolled over. How do you keep a frisky
dog from jumping? After the first day or so, we gave up.
Fortunately, she did not try to chew the stitches out. I think
she was too proud of them.
She went back to the vet today to get her stitches out. She has
no idea what happened to her, other than the fact that she had a long
nap at the vet’s office and didn’t feel too well afterwards.
And now we don’t have to worry about unwanted puppies anymore.
Listen to your animal control organizations. Have your pets
spayed or neutered.
Listen to me. Don’t wait.
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Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

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