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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

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Camera Phone Photo....

The Camera Phone Photo

Some people will have a hard time believing this but I am old enough to be a grandma. In fact, I just became a grandma again with the birth of my first granddaughter. Now a new grandchild is a pretty exciting thing. She came three weeks early in the middle of the night, but I could hardly wait to get the hospital the next day to see her.

I was trying to remember everything I wanted to take, the potted plant for my daughter-in-law, the picture album with pictures from the baby shower that I had intended to take before the baby came, but didn’t.

It wasn’t until we were almost to the hospital that I realized that I had forgotten the most important thing - my camera.

Not to worry, says my honey, he has a camera phone! He knew that thing would come in good for something one of these days. Men love gadgets. “But, you can’t take good pictures,” I nagged. “Well, you don’t have any other choice,” he retorted. Good point.

So we went in to see the new granddaughter who was, of course, the cutest baby in the hospital. We didn’t check out any of the other babies, but we didn’t need to as I can attest with grandparental certainty that no other baby could possibly have been as attractive as our own.

Grandma was thrilled because she got to hold the small bundle of joy. I think the baby likes me already because she stopped fussing when I held her. Of course, honey had to hold her too. He was certain that she liked him the best. Fat chance!

So where was this camera phone? I needed a picture of this precious child to send to the relatives. First picture, he cut off the top of her head. I knew he couldn’t take pictures. Second try was a picture of his finger. Several more shots that didn’t come out but were not his fault because “she moved.” He finally managed to make a decent picture.

We said our farewells and left empty handed except for the picture on the camera phone. When we got home, I asked honey to email the picture to my computer so I could see it again and email it to the relatives in other cities.

He piddled with the phone for a while and couldn’t remember my email address. More piddling and he couldn’t get it to send. Finally, I gave up and went to bed. He was still fooling with the camera phone. Just as I was falling asleep he announced proudly, “I sent it! It will be in your email tomorrow.” “Good,” I mumbled as I turned over and fell back asleep.

The next morning I checked my email and the picture wasn’t there. “Where’s the picture?” “Well, I sent it,” he replied defensively. If it hasn’t made it overnight I sort of doubt that it’s coming. Why do I have a feeling that he didn’t get my email address right?

“Maybe you could send it to yourself and save it on a disk.” I suggested. He got out the phone. “There is something wrong with it. It won’t turn on.” Naturally, the stupid phone would pick this very moment in time to go haywire. I really hate gadgets.

“I’ll go to the phone center tonight and get it checked,” he said. The phone center couldn’t fix it either, naturally, so the company is sending a new phone. The picture is supposedly still on the computer chip, but I doubt that we will ever see that picture of my granddaughter while she was
still in the hospital.

All that technology, and I still don’t have a picture. I have a feeling that if I depend on his camera phone, she will probably be in college before I get one.

Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss

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