Humor Columnist

HOMEBESTCOLUMNSHUMORARCHIVESCONTACT
 
 HOME

 COLUMNIST

 BEST

 COLUMNS

 ARCHIVES

 HUMOR

 EDITOR  INFO

 FIREFLIES

 LONDON 

 EGYPT SERIES

 FRIENDS

 LINK TO US

 WEB RINGS

 LINKS

 LINK SWAP

 SUBSCRIBE

 CONTACT

Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is a free-lance writer from  Tennessee. She writes  funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family matters and anything else that  she finds amusing.

She is seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal  and Hill Country Times and appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish Times.  She has written for  Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of books. Her articles have appeared in numerous other publications, both print and online.

She is a board member and the Web Editor of  Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for  news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of Southern
Humorists.com
  as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers organization and this website, Humor
Columnist.com

To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy.


 
Sheila Moss


Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

   
National Society of
Newspaper Columnists

HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

No, no, not snow!....
 


No, no, not snow!

Snow! Snow! It’s going to snow! Every year, it’s the same old snow panic. After a while, it gets tiresome.

Here it is March. No snow all winter, and now it’s going to snow?

Oh, the weather people are so happy! They are beating the weather drums and doing the weather dance, trying their level best to work everyone up into a snow panic.

It doesn’t take much. People in the South are just about as afraid of snow as they are of a nuclear disaster.

I guess it’s the weather person’s duty to warn the public -- not that it does any good. People have no sense. They don’t know how to drive in the snow, but won’t stay out of the way of those that do.

I write one of these silly weather columns every year. It never fails that the S-word causes a major commotion at least once or twice a winter. Lord, what would Southerners do if they had snow all the time? Get used to it?

Ain’t gonna happen, so no use speculating on it.

Bread, milk, and toilet paper - these are the essentials for snow. I imagine these items are jumping off shelves into grocery baskets all over town right now. Shelves will be picked clean.

Why? It isn’t as if this is Alaska and we won’t be able to get out for the rest of the winter. Geez, we don’t even shovel the driveway when it snows. Why bother? It will all melt tomorrow or the next day anyhow.

Snow in the South is a rarity, but it does happen. It was snowing in Atlanta earlier this year when we were traveling though. I met one woman who had driven all the way from Orlando to see snow. Now, why in the world would someone drive hundreds of miles in bad weather to see snow? It was melting as fast as it fell.

I have to admit that there is a beauty to it all when everything is covered with a white blanket and none of the gray drab of winter can be seen. But snow in the country, and even the suburbs, is a different issue from snow in the city. No one wants to become a part of the circus on the highway called “learning to drive in the snow.”

So far, so good, the day is over and no snow yet, in spite of the weather witches chant. I guess their job gets boring. Sunny today, rain tomorrow. Rain today, sunny tomorrow. Like a foxtrot. At least snow is a different tune to dance to.

Ears perk up when people hear the S-word. They are itching for a good reason to lay off work anyhow. And, when it snows in Texas, they close the schools in Tennessee in anticipation, another good reason to stay home if the kids are out.

Will it? Won’t it? Let me check the forecast again. First they said an inch or two, then two to four, then three to five. But now they have put it off until tonight. If it’s yet another false alarm, people are going to be very disappointed.

Weather folks don’t make the weather, they will say, they just try to predict it.

So, it finally snowed overnight. There may be a bluish inch of the stuff, but it’s still snowing. And it’s Saturday. People can stay at home with their bread, milk, and toilet paper.

But they won’t. Now they will have to think of another excuse to get out in it. They were promised a disaster, and, by golly, they want to be sure they get one!


Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
 
 



Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter


Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219
E-Mail

Seen In


      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © 1999-2012 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by thetemplatestore.com