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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail
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No, no, not snow!.... |
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No, no, not snow!
Snow! Snow! It’s going to snow! Every year, it’s the same old snow
panic. After a while, it gets tiresome.
Here it is March. No snow all winter, and now it’s going to snow?
Oh, the weather people are so happy! They are beating the weather drums
and doing the weather dance, trying their level best to work everyone up
into a snow panic.
It doesn’t take much. People in the South are just about as afraid of
snow as they are of a nuclear disaster.
I guess it’s the weather person’s duty to warn the public -- not
that it does any good. People have no sense. They don’t know how to
drive in the snow, but won’t stay out of the way of those that do.
I write one of these silly weather columns every year. It never fails
that the S-word causes a major commotion at least once or twice a
winter. Lord, what would Southerners do if they had snow all the time?
Get used to it?
Ain’t gonna happen, so no use speculating on it.
Bread, milk, and toilet paper - these are the essentials for snow. I
imagine these items are jumping off shelves into grocery baskets all
over town right now. Shelves will be picked clean.
Why? It isn’t as if this is Alaska and we won’t be able to get out
for the rest of the winter. Geez, we don’t even shovel the driveway
when it snows. Why bother? It will all melt tomorrow or the next day
anyhow.
Snow in the South is a rarity, but it does happen. It was snowing in
Atlanta earlier this year when we were traveling though. I met one woman
who had driven all the way from Orlando to see snow. Now, why in the
world would someone drive hundreds of miles in bad weather to see snow?
It was melting as fast as it fell.
I have to admit that there is a beauty to it all when
everything is covered with a white blanket and none of the gray drab of
winter can be seen. But snow in the country, and even the suburbs, is a
different issue from snow in the city. No one wants to become a part of
the circus on the highway called “learning to drive in the snow.”
So far, so good, the day is over and no snow yet, in spite of the
weather witches chant. I guess their job gets boring. Sunny today, rain
tomorrow. Rain today, sunny tomorrow. Like a foxtrot. At least snow is a
different tune to dance to.
Ears perk up when people hear the S-word. They are itching for a good
reason to lay off work anyhow. And, when it snows in Texas, they close
the schools in Tennessee in anticipation, another good reason to stay
home if the kids are out.
Will it? Won’t it? Let me check the forecast again. First they said an
inch or two, then two to four, then three to five. But now they have put
it off until tonight. If it’s yet another false alarm, people are
going to be very disappointed.
Weather folks don’t make the weather, they will say, they just try to
predict it.
So, it finally snowed overnight. There may be a bluish inch of the
stuff, but it’s still snowing. And it’s Saturday. People can stay at
home with their bread, milk, and toilet paper.
But they won’t. Now they will have to think of another excuse to get
out in it. They were promised a disaster, and, by golly, they want to be
sure they get one!
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Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
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