Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Nothing to Do....
How to Have Nothing to Do
Everyone wants something to do on a long holiday
weekend. Around here, they go to the lake, go to the mountains, or
if that isn't possible, they go to local events. When I don't go
out and have experiences, I have nothing to write about.
A few weekends ago, we had plenty of choices but not much
"So, what are we going to do this weekend?" asked my
"I don't know; what is there to do?" I yawned.
There is a
lot going on in the area that we could do. For example, the air
show at the local airport. I just heard an announcement on TV. How
could I have forgotten? When we go to the air show, we always get
tickets in advance, buy snacks, and take lawn chairs. Maybe we can
make it, but it will be a rush. The Blue Angels are flying. They
are my favorite flying team. But it really looks like rain
What does the weather report say: Rain both today and tomorrow.
Who wants to go to an air show when it is raining? "Remember
that one year when ..." How could I forget? It was rainy and
cold. We were lucky that it didn't pour down, but it did mist and
drizzle most of the time. They will not even perform the entire
show with a low cloud ceiling. They have to modify it to be under
the clouds where people can see it.
"What do you think? Should we take a chance?" said
Honey. He had that I-want-go tone to his voice.
"What else is going on?" I less-than-enthusiastically
Well, there is the steeplechase. That is a horse race where the
horses jump over obstacles. Scratch that one. I'm really not into
horse races. All the ladies horse up (pardon the expression) in
their sundresses and sun hats and people tailgate. I'm not up for
that, even if I had a sunhat to wear.
Well, it's May, there is the Renaissance Festival.
I don't think I want to go to the Renaissance Festival. We've been
before. And what if it rains? I don't want to slosh around in mud
all day. Not my idea of fun. Let's ask my grandson which one he
would rather do? He was visiting for the weekend.
would you rather do, go to an air show or go to the Renaissance
Festival," I asked. I was sure he would say air show. What
But, he wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival - sword fighting,
magic shows, fire eaters. Probably some of his friends at school
have been talking about it.
"This is the only weekend I can go, so it is now or not at
all." My daughter chimed in. "Besides, it isn't raining
yet and we can take umbrellas." Reminds me of going to London
where it rains all the time.
"Do you want to go to the Renaissance Festival?" I asked
"No, do you?"
So my daughter and grandson went without us. I dug up a couple
plastic ponchos, probably left over from England, and away they
It was getting pretty late by now, might as well forget about the
air show. It will be half over by the time we get there.
As luck would have it, it didn't rain until late in the afternoon.
We procrastinated too long and ended up doing nothing.
How can I write a column about nothing?
I'm not sure. But I think I just did it.
Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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