Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||London's Last Fling...
The entire time that I was in London, I was never able to figure
out British money. I donít know why they donít just
use Euroís like the rest of civilized Europe -- not that I
could figure that out either.
The dollars there are coins that look like a nickel, quarters
are dimes, dimes are nickels, copper quarters are two cents and
Susan B. Anthony dollars are fifty cents. They also had other strange coins
that resembled Chuck E. Cheese slot machine coins.
We spent our last day at the Tower of London, an old fortress
from medieval days, with fabulous new additions only a century
or two old. In addition to other attractions, the
crown jewels were on display there. Apparently, the royals
believe, ďIf youíve got it, flaunt it.Ē Security was
very tight and we were not allowed to take pictures.
The royal guards, also guides, were called ďbeef-eaters,Ē
either because they are partially paid in beef or because the word closely
resembles a French word that has something to do with serving the queen.
Iím not sure which one is correct, but neither were they.
There were stone towers with spiral stairs to climb in and
shining suits of armor on display rendering a fairyland type of atmosphere.
It was one of the most interesting places we visited, which made me sort of
glad we had saved it for the last day.
After the Tower, we went to Herrod's Department Store, which
like everything else, looked like a church. The inside was
very unusual, with Egyptian statues and elaborate ceilings and
light fixtures. They had a wide assortment of food rooms and goods from all over the world, but
we decided to buy our souvenirs some place cheaper.
We did touristy things like making pictures of each other in the
red phone booths that are all over the place, and shooting pictures of
double-decker buses from the window of a pub. We wandered Piccadilly Circus,
stumbled on China Town, and ended the day with a theater
production of Mary Poppins, which seemed appropriately British.
The next morning we had to leave early for the airport.
There was the aggravation of waiting in a line of fifty people at the
Underground with only one person selling tickets, and then having that person
leave to help someone who lost change in a machine while the entire line
waited. We were sorry later that we didnít think to give the
guy a pound and tell him to get lost.
We had to change trains twice on the way to the airport because
the driver left and the new driver wasnít there, or some such
nonsense. We still donít know what happened, but apparently if
someone is late for work, the train just waits till they get
there. Boarding the plane, we found that they had sold six
tickets for four seats. Fortunately, the plane was not
full, so we did not have to ride on the wing or demand free
All in all, the trip was successful. We remembered to look right
instead of left and left instead of right, although there was the one close
call with a crazed bicycler. The hotel didnít burn down from
plugging everything into one plug, and we resolved the currency problem by just using a
Traveling during the day was definitely much better than the
trip over when we traveled at night and pretended to sleep. But
the inconvenience of travel brought us back to reality in a
hurry. There was a good feeling when the plane landed back
in American territory.
And now Iím an experienced world-wide, traveler, my eyes are
sore from looking and my feet still ache. I can report
that there is definitely life out there. But it sure is great to be back where the big
hair is on the ladies instead of the big-wig guys in museums.
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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