Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Just Suppose...

Just Suppose…

Suppose the impossible became the possible. Suppose every daydream you have ever dreamed came true. Would you be ready?

Suppose the boss said you are much to valuable to be doing the job you have; you deserve an immediate promotion and raise! Would you say that you love your job just the way it is and you could not possibly use any more money?


Suppose you found out the odometer on your car is not showing the correct amount of actual mileage but is vastly under counting. Would you immediately go to the dealer and demand that it be fixed?


Suppose calories and fat grams don't affect you. Suppose you are one of those people who can eat anything you want without gaining an ounce. Would you still eat low fat foods?


Suppose you can get by with three or four hours of sleep and still feel great. Would you sleep eight hours whether you need it or not, because you are so bored with late night television?


Suppose the President called to ask for your opinion on his new foreign policy? Suppose he likes your ideas so well, that he offers to make you an unofficial consultant. Could you possibly leave home to travel all over the world at government expense?


Suppose scientists find a miracle cure for aging. Suppose you can live as long as you want and never get wrinkles or gray hair. Would you accept your body just the way it is and continue to grow old gracefully?


Suppose researchers invent a vaccination for disease that cures all sickness. Suppose you don’t believe in medicine. Would you refuse the treatment?


Suppose you win the lottery! Could you donate it to charity because you know others need it more than you do?


Suppose a new synthetic gasoline substitute is invented that gets 500 miles to the gallon. Suppose the effects of the new gas on the environment are not fully known. Would you worry about carbon monoxide?


Suppose a new and inexpensive nutritional food additive keeps foods from being fattening or carcinogenic and adds vitamins, but suppose it tastes just like chicken. Since you hate chicken, would you refuse to use it?


Suppose you are offered a community service award for your great humanitarian works, but you are a private person who hates publicity. Would you accept the honor?


Suppose your tiny stock investment explodes and you become CEO of your company. Suppose your boss then asks you for a job. Would you offer him your old job?


Suppose the IRS made a mistake on your taxes and owes you a refund. Would you tell them to keep it to help the government balance the budget?


Suppose beautiful members of the opposite sex call you day and night to beg you for a date. Would you say "Sorry, I'm in a committed relationship."?


Suppose you are in excellent physical condition and can run as far and as fast as you want without getting tired. Suppose you are invited to be in a marathon. Should you decline, as your superior physical condition would make the race unfair to the other runners?


Suppose you are a great lover of animals. Suppose all animals become tame and friendly when you approach them, but you are allergic to animal fur. Would you befriend and pet the animals anyhow - between sneezes?


Suppose you are invited to be on Opra, write a book, and star in a movie about your life, but you just want to be ordinary. Would you say "no thanks?"




1-3     Yes – Time to wake up now. Did you enjoy the dream?
4-10   Yes - Welcome to the human race. You are just as bad as the rest of us!
11-14 Yes - Maybe you should have accepted that humanitarian award after all!
15 +   Yes - You are an angel. Check your head for a halo.
18-20 Yes- Who are you kidding? There aren't that many questions.

Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss

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