Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Juggling Cars....

Juggling Cars

I don't know how I keep getting myself in such ridiculous situations, but I guess you could say I have a knack for it. What started out yesterday as a normal day, if there is such a thing in my life, turned out to be a nightmare. I was stranded at the office with no way to get home.

Morris and I usually carpool to work. He does the driving and I pay the parking. It all works out. But yesterday Mo had to leave early for a doctor appointment. No big deal, I would just drive my own car.

However, my son had a problem. He had to take his truck downtown to get it worked on and needed a ride home. The truck had trouble starting, and as we all know, a vehicle that won't start is no good to anyone.

Still not a problem, I could ride in with Mo and leave my car at home. My daughter could follow my son to the car dealership in my car and give him a ride back home. Then my son could pick me up after work, and I could drop him off at the dealership.

It was getting complicated, but it seemed workable.

About thirty minutes before the end of the day, I called home. So far the plan had gone smoothly, but the truck was not ready yet. What to do now? Daughter could drop son off and pick me up, but what if the truck had to stay until tomorrow?

She could pick me up and he could stay at home. But if the truck was finished today, she would have to make two trips downtown in afternoon rush hour traffic.

By now I'm getting lost in the variables. The clock is ticking, and I'm at the office with no way to get home. This is not working out.

I have an idea. I'll call Mo at the doctor's office and he can come get me. I called and called until he finally answered. Yes, he would come get me but he had to go to the gas station first.

So, I wait. Fortunately, the office building stays open late and I will not have to wait outside on the sidewalk.

The phone rings. Morris is calling to tell me he is here. Wrong, he is calling to tell me that he ran out of gas. The man has never run out of gas before in his entire life. But today, when I am stranded at the office, he is out of gas on the way to the gas station.

AAA would take forever, so my son is using my car to take him some gas and then Mo will come after me. He might be a little late ... a little ...he said. 

Nothing is as much fun as sitting around the office after you have worked all day and are ready to go home.

Meanwhile, the car dealership calls my son. The truck is ready, but my daughter can't take my son to pick it up as he has the car. The two men decide that Mo will take my son to the dealership and then he can pick me up.

The phone rang again.

What? I will have to wait until he is done fooling with picking up his truck before he picks me up? Since you are coming downtown, why don't you just come get me?

We dropped my son off at the truck dealership and made it home in spite of rush hour traffic. Somehow my daughter managed to avoid the entire mess.

I think I met myself on the Interstate either coming or going, but I'm not sure if that was me or not. I might still be at the office. 

Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss


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