Pretty in Pink

"Peasants," I thought as I looked down on the rest of the world.

It hadn't been that long since I was in that category myself, but today I was up on my pedicure throne in the nail shop, the lap of luxury, where I was treating myself to a much needed pedicure. I had promised myself this particular episode six months ago and now I was finally collecting.

You see, back last summer I lost a toenail. I won't go into the gruesome details of what is now ancient history. Suffice it to say, it has been a long road to recovery as toenails grow much slower than fingernails.

Do you get tired of asking people to do things and end up doing it yourself? I often do. But, last week my honey made the mistake of asking if he could help me do anything.

All my blood drained to my feet and I felt dizzy. Was he volunteering - actually volunteering - to work? I must be having a hot flash, I thought, fanning myself.

"You can scrape the bathroom ceiling," I ventured.

The Winter Storm that Wasn't

I suppose I should be thankful that we dodged the bullet and did not get the ice storm that hit much of the South from Oklahoma and Arkansas to Kentucky.

I am thankful, but I am not thankful for all the panic created by media and especially TV weather.

They seemed so certain. The ice was coming. It would be here the next day. They even told us the time that it would arrive, about 10 AM.

The Heaven Eye

I didn’t like it. 

I ordered it over the internet and when it finally came, I didn’t like it. I had found these necklaces with a pendant called a Heaven Eye. They were Oriental and took their unusual name from the design that looks somewhat like an actual eye.

“A Heaven Eye amulet will keep away the Evil Eye and bring you good luck.” said the description. I could always use more luck, but mostly I liked the unusual exotic design.

A Cool Grandma

I am cool, ya'll. Yes, I may be a grandma, and I may have bad knees, but I am still cool, especially when I drive my Corvette. When you drive a sports car, everybody notices you, and everybody thinks you are cool. Why else would you drive a Corvette?

Youngsters try to challenge you and want to pass or speed past a Corvette. I just keep my cool. If they think they can really take a car that can go 140 mph, let 'em dream. I'm so cool that I don't even care.

"Raleigh is one of the country's smartest cities, exclaimed my honey, reading from the computer. "They are one of the four cities in the US with the most educated people," he continued. "It says so right here in the Yahoo news."

"Oh, yeah? If they are so smart then why do they smoke so much," I asked? Sometimes my mouth is faster than my brain. When I think of Raleigh, Durham, or Winston-Salem, I tend to think of cigarette manufacturing and assume that people consume what they make.

Luv a Clown

My daughter had three clown figurines in my grandson's room when he was a toddler. He didn't like them and she was going to throw them away until I rescued them. I had to promise to take them to work where my grandson's eyes would not see them. They stand there looking down over my desk from the bookshelf.

Funny, we think of clowns as being jolly, happy characters that make people laugh. But it seems there are many people that don't like them. Some are afraid of them and others just don't think they are funny. Some folks find them grotesque with their exaggerated features, wild makeup and wigs, and ridiculous clothes.

Junk Mail Junk

I was sitting at my computer the other day minding my own business and surfing the net. In retrospect, I think maybe I had just read one too many junk emails that day, but the first thing you know I found my eyelids feeling a bit heavy.

I slowly drifted away and next thing I was aware of was being in cyberspace and somehow managing to become entangled in the new email filter on my computer, along with a month's supply of SPAM that had never been emptied.

I tried to maintain a sense of dignity, which was hard to do sitting in a mail bucket.

Paint a Purple House

"I never saw a purple cow, I hope to never see one," said the poet. But purple is not only unpopular as a color for cows, it is also frequently frowned on as a color for houses. World Net Daily recently reported that a Florida city passed a new law against purple houses after a local man painted his house purple and gold because these were the colors of his fraternity!

To prevent the outlandish actions of some homeowners, who have the audacity to think they can do what they want with their own property, some areas have formed planning committees for assuring that colors are attune to the tastes of the average homeowner...

In other words:  NO PURPLE!