Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
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article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Online Since 1999
iPhone is Not for Dummies
it." He said, handing me a small box.
It isn't my birthday and it is too early for Christmas. The box had an
apple with a bite out of it on front. Even I knew what that logo meant.
And when I opened it, there it was -- a shiny new black iPhone.
Some people have to have the newest and latest electronic item as soon
as it is released. When the iPhone first came out a year ago, we had to
go to the Apple store and stand in line with the other early innovators
so Honey could get one on the first day. I've never really been a gadget
But here it was, future staring me right in the face -- ready or not.
The guy at the phone store had transferred my phone directory already
and had it ready to go. Go where, I wasn't quite sure. I figured turning
it on was a good place to start. I pushed the only button and the phone
came to life. "Slide to start," it said on the phone, so I did
and up popped a screen like a mini computer.
"Where's the owner's manual?" I asked.
"That little 10 page pamphlet?" How hard can it be if it takes
only 10 tiny pages to explain? They seemed to assume you were somewhat
technically savvy. Like most computer manuals, it didn't make much
sense. I decided to try and figure it out myself and things went better.
I found a tiny keyboard where I could type text messages or email. But
the keys were so tiny and my fingers so large. I could not get it to
type the right letters. After typing the letter before, the letter
after, and the letter above, I finally figured out that if I lined a key
up with my hangnail, it would type the right letter. This is going to be
some slow going, I thought.
I found out the browser is called Safari, not Internet Explorer. You can
tell I'm not an Apple person. Anyhow, I was able to check my email with
the help of my hangnail and the backspace.
I really didn't see the point when I had a computer at home with a
screen big enough to see. I supposed I would learn to love it. Everyone
else seems to. And Honey was so please with himself for thinking of it
that I couldn't disappoint him by being too dumb to use it.
I eventually figured out how to make a call with it. Sometimes I hit the
wrong name in the directory, and had to explain I was breaking in a new
I finally figured out how to make the tiny web pages large enough to
read, though it really seemed like more trouble than it was worth unless
you are really desperate to read a webpage. Actually, I learned that
from the TV commercial which showed how to pull it in two different
directions to enlarge.
"Can I borrow your iPhone?" asked my grandson when he found
out I had one.
"What for?" I asked.
"My friend and I want to make a video." he said.
I knew it had a camera, but this thing makes videos? I finally figured
out that feature. At least I am as smart as a fifth grader, I thought.
Now if I can just figure out how to make my fingers fit the tiny little
keyboard, maybe things will be okay.
Copyright 2010 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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