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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
Southern
Humorists.com as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers
organization and this website, Humor
Columnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Sheila Moss

Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall
National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Gas Crisis... |
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The Gas
Crisis
A
few weeks ago we had a gasoline crisis. The media reported
that we are on a major pipeline that brings oil from the Gulf.
The report mentioned there could be about 25% less flowing because
some oil refineries still are not back to normal since Gustav.
Immediately phones started ringing, people started calling other
people, and everyone jumped in their car and sped to the gas station
– just in case there might be a shortage.
PANIC!
Lines grew; other people saw the lines and figured something must be
going on. So, they got in the line too. After all, if
there was going to be a gas shortage, they wanted to be sure their
tank was full.
PANIC!
People who didn’t actually need gas decided to top off their tanks.
Rednecks cleaned out all the gas cans in their garages and filled them
up with gas.
PANIC!
Sure enough, gas stations started running out of gas. What a
surprise!
PANIC!
The weekend came and people who actually needed gas couldn’t get
gas. Gas pumps were covered with plastic bags at station after
station. You could tell which stations were sold out because they were
the ones that didn't have a line.
PANIC!
People started calling gas stations looking for gas. Gas stations
ordered gas, but couldn’t get it delivered fast enough. If a
tanker was spotted on the highway, motorists followed it and flocked
like flies to the station that was getting gas. Lines backed up
on roadways and tempers flared as traffic was blocked.
PANIC!
More gas was used driving around looking for gas and sitting in line
waiting for gas than for actually driving. When regular gas ran
out, people went to premium, so it was quickly drained too.
People bought extra cans of gas and carried them around in the trunk
of their cars. Gasoline is like dynamite that could go off
in a confined area if vapors ignite. Catastrophe was riding around the
city waiting to happen.
So far, no fireballs have been reported.
Entrepreneurs filled gas cans and sold gas at an inflated price to
people who didn't have any. For $5, extra they told them where
they got it.
Price gouging at gas stations was widely reported, and
a hotline was set up to report it, but nothing was done about
violators as far as anyone could tell.
AAA reported that the crisis would be over by the weekend. Why
ask AAA? They give maps, directions and make reservations. They
are a travel agency, not experts on economics or the
marketplace.
They also are not experts on human behavior.
I went to seven stations while running on fumes before I found gas and
then paid $4.49 a gallon. At first I thought the station was
sold out because there was no line. When I saw the prices, however, I
knew why they didn’t have a line.
Eventually stations began to get gas deliveries and lines became
shorter. Most everyone had filled up already -- not to mention the
stockpiles of gasoline in rusty gas cans all over the city.
This city could go off like the Fourth of July.
The media is trying to calm the panic by reporting that there is
plenty of gasoline if people will not panic and run to gas stations
like a bunch of lemmings just because every one else does.
Telling people not to panic is a sure way to create panic. Watch out!
They could stampede for the gas pumps at any minute.
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Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

Seen In

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