it finally happened. My poor old dishwasher died in a poof of smoke.
It was obvious that something was wrong. The last couple loads had an
unusual smell. I optimistically attributed it to something plastic
touching the heating coil. Funny, I never could find anything. I
attempted to give it one last chance, but the old dishwasher rebelled.
Smoke bellowing from the vent in the door made it apparent that it had
seen its better days.
I briefly considered calling a repair service person.
Then I remembered that water had been leaking out from under the door
onto the floor for some time. The dishwasher and I had reached a
compromise about the water ages ago. I put a dishtowel on the floor to
catch the drips, and it continued to wash the dishes just as good as
ever. Counting back the years until I ran out of fingers, I realized
just how old this particular appliance was and wondered that it was
still working at all. No wonder it was ready for Depends.
Time to visit the friendly local appliance store. But
Circuit City no longer sold appliances. Shows how long itís been
since I bought anything. Another store, however, had gleaming rows of
all sorts of items: refrigerators, stoves, and washing machines. It
was an appliance jungle. The salesmen stood around like vultures
waiting for fresh meat. As soon as we entered the door, they
"How can I help you?" asked a salesman with
teeth even shiner than the appliances.
"ErrÖ I need a dishwasher," I admitted,
looking for the emergency exit in case I needed to make a fast escape.
"What kind?" he quizzed, naming off about a
Figuring my old one had lived far past its normal life
expectancy, I opted just to get the same brand again.
"Those are down at the end", he sneered,
proceeding to show me the top of the line models instead. "These
have stainless steel interiors, water at the top and bottom, and a
Those dishwashers had more buttons and gadgets than a
Corvette dashboard. I only wanted to wash and dry dishes. I figured
with that sort of price tag, it should cook dinner, clear the table,
put the clean dishes in the cabinet, and give me a neck massage.
"My appliances are tan," I said. "Do
they come in tan?"
"Oh, you mean biscuit", he said with
a pained expression, acting as if I had asked for avocado or purple.
"Black is the standard color. You can get white
but it costs extra."
White costs extra!? Gosh! Itís been a long time
since I shopped for appliances, I thought. I really need to get out
I finally selected one of the lower end models, which
came with few extra buttons - whether I needed them, or not. Why a
dishwasher needs to do anything but wash and dry I never could figure
out, just more gadgets to break down, I surmised.
With a flash of his gleaming teeth, the sales clerk
entered the sale into the computer, gave me a delivery date, and
whisked me with my checkbook out to the cashier. It was all over in a
couple minutes. Boy, doesnít take long to spend money, does it?
So, I am now the proud owner of a shiny new, black
dishwasher. Excuse me while I go push some buttons. Letís see, where
is the one for the neck massage?