Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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What's Cooking....

What's Cooking?

cooking,cooks,food,households,housewares,kitchens,persons,pots,stirring,womenIt seems every time I turn on the TV, someone is cooking something. I don't really want any cooking lessons. Been there -- done that -- as the saying goes.

Some people lament that they can't cook. I guess it would worry me if I couldn't boil water without burning the pot, but since I do know how, it doesn't matter. In case you care, the way to keep a pot from burning is to watch it. The old adage about a "watched pot" is absolutely true.

On TV's Hell's Kitchen the expert cooks are always burning things, leaving them raw, or not timing things right to be ready with the rest of the meal.

Timing is everything and one of the hardest things to learn. I've had my share of burned beans, lumpy gravy, and raw chicken. But somehow cooking food correctly pales in comparison to getting the mashed potatoes and gravy done at the same time.

If you are persistent in your efforts, sooner or later things will come together and you will learn to cook. Thank goodness when I was a young bride, my husband was willing to eat all my mistakes and not complain. I think he figured if you can't do better, don't criticize.

Now I prefer to cook dishes with only three ingredients, or packaged and frozen. Somehow when you know you can cook if you have to, it doesn't seem as important.

I remember taking a home economics class in school at some point of life. We learned to make a basic white sauce, something like white gravy. The home ec teacher told us white sauce is basic and any good cook needed to know how to make it. Funny, I don't remember ever having to a need to cook a white sauce since that class.

Microwave cooking was probably the downfall of real, stovetop food. Everything is instant. It can be done the old way with flour, salt, measuring cups and hours in preparation. But why??

Some people call themselves gourmet cooks and take great pride in cooking hard-to-succeed dishes. Somehow I always get the feeling that they seldom cook meals. They are not in for the long haul, meal after meal, day after day. Long-term cooking sucks the pleasure right out of you.

Some men like to cook. My honey lived single for a long time, but suddenly he has forgotten everything he ever knew and depends on me to cook. He claims he lived all those single years on hot dogs.

My recipe books have yellowed pages and are seldom used. If I really need a recipe for anything, I look it up on the internet. Some of my best recopies, and the only ones I use now, came from a microwave cooking class. I didn't learn much about microwave cooking there.

Some of my friends tell me that if it doesn't have the magic word "microwavable" on it, they don't buy it. I'm not quite that bad but I do find myself turning to instant food more often. Women work outside the home now and don't have hours to slave away fixing homemade food.

So, if you are hungry and want a good, homemade meal, come on over and see me. I'll take you to Cracker Barrel. You can pay the tab.

Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss

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