Sheila Moss, Humor Columnist - Humor Columns Archive


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The iPad Lesson What will you do with it?
A Taxing Experience Time to pay up		Festival of the Moon A National Holiday in China
To the Mattresses A four-day sale		Southern Places to See Before You Die
Grandma's Secret Recipe Favorite homemade fruitcake		Ode to Coffee Mugs I like a large cup.
A Jaded Week The too green necklace		The New Doctor The old one hurt his back.
Green Wheels Running on nitrogen		Pondering Purple I have a thing about purple
Extreme Densification Is that a word?		Life is a Bowl of Cherries So why am I in the pits?
The Barbecue Joint Pigging out with the locals		Lewis Grizzard's Typewriter A vintage Royal manual
Do Old People Smell? You can't get rid of it.		Chariots of Fire Flat tire on the Interstate
What Begins with C? Cancer and colonoscophy		In a Hurry Why are we in a hurry?
Daddy's Gone-a-Hunting The joys of eating wild game		Death by Taxes The dreaded preparation
It's a Social Media World 200 million people on Facebook		Tornado Warning Storms again today
A Yankee in Nashville Trailers for rent		The Wrong Turn A story landed in my lap.
A Writer's Life I'm going to write a column.		Wrinkles Revisited New wrinkle release product
Worry Wart Syndrome Worry out of proportions		Interview with Old Man Winter
I'm a Widow Don't you hate that word?		The White Stuff It Snowed Today
Where Are Things When You Need Them?		Weird Holidays National Columnists Day
The Gift Card The Most Wanted Gift		Climbing Dunn River Falls A trip to Jamaica
The Wart Has Got to Go An Ancient Plague		Wanda and the Catfish Fun at the Catfish House
It's Almost Over The scoop on voting		The Waiting Room Trauma at the hospital
Eat Your Veggies Prez has aversion to broccoli		A Visit With Mom You Eat Till You Ache
Vacation at Home Time to relax and unwind		The Veep Tennessee's Favorite Son
Understanding a Mother Mothers love unconditionally		Dust of an Unlucky Moon Disaster follows my daughter
Plan Ahead for a Smooth Turkey Day		The Uncouth Tooth I think I am cursed.
A Tribute to Jason I was your customer.		Turkeys Unite! It's time to panic.
Opry at the Ryman They give your money's worth		Pretty in Pink Getting a Pedicure
Go Titans Go! Titans in the SuperBowl		The Clockorcism My alarm clock hates me.
Mamma and the Thunderstorms She was afraid beyond reason		Message of Thanksgiving Learn to be thankful
A Taxing Experience Income tax time again		The Truth About Tennessee We are all rednecks here
The S-Word A snowflake has fallen		Table for Two Trying to have a quiet dinner
Supply Order Our printer cartridge died		Dumbness Survey Which states are dumber?
Superbowl Silly The macho celebration		I'm Not Fat, I'm Supersize Calories do count.
The Art of Storytelling Festival in East Tennessee		The Importance of Being Stupid - Playing dumb
The Sting Humiliated by an Insect		Stormy Weather Caught in the rain
Spring Forward - Fall Back Dallying with the clock.		Selling Naming Rights Football stadiums do it.
Ready fer Some Football? We're a major league city now.		Spaghetti Supper Time to learn to cook
Could That Be Snow? Severe weather warning		Soapy Sunday Bubbles drifted in the air
The Skechers I love cute shoes		Where There's Smoke... It was a close call.
I've Been Sick My knee replacement surgery		The Singles Bar Suddenly single
Self-Improvement Read something inspirational		Shop till You Drop Getting shopping fever
The Savings Place Groceries at Wal-Mart		Saving Time Using time, losing time
The Sandwich How complicated is it?		My Dog Ate Saran Wrap Gizmo is a good dog.
The Good Samaritan We had a blow-out		Road Trip to Texas We decided to drive
Delicious Rewards My lunch bag finally came.		Pet Play What happens at home
Red, White and Blue A strange affliction		Who is that Masked Man? He's the Lone Ranger
Raleigh, Really? One of the smartest cities		The Anniversary Quilt Double Wedding-Ring
The Princess of Pop What's all the fuss?		The Pizza Place Where do you want to eat?
Pizza, Pizza Friday is pizza night		Pill Popper A pill for every symptom
The Passenger Pickup Lane Lost in the airport maze		Camera Phone Photo My first granddaughter
The Pep Talk Time for the big game		I Love a Parade Second lining in New Orleans
Pajama Mania A fashion fad		Painting the Town Green A do-it-yourself project
Over the River and Through the Woods		The Grand Ole Opry Home of country music
The Future is Hiding in the Car They call it OnStar		The Ten-Hour Oil Change Time to change the oil
One Fish, Two Fish Getting the fish eye		Let the Games be Done Olympic toga party
Old Stuff Aging happens to other people.		Spring Break for a Columnist - Oklahoma City
OED says OMG, FYI, LOL OK Text abbreviations blessed		Whadda Ya Mean It's Not Love?
New Orleans in the Summer The party never stops in NOLA		Nature's Bounty The apple tree
Ms. Natural Woman What is it with my hair?		Mule Day Good Ol' Boy Heaven
The Last Time I Saw Motown Detroit, Motor City, Motown		Misery Loves Company I have a sore throat.
Helpful Hints from a Mother-in-Law		I Might Be a Redneck A trash dump excites me.
What To Do With a Brass Moose		The Mad Dash I hate to be late for work.
Fourth of July How to celebrate		Fashionable and Free Free lunch bag
Oh, My Lucky Stars Bad things happen in threes		A Love Gift Dazzle your Valentine
The Year of the Locust Cicadas have invaded		Between Lines Standing in line again
The Death of Old Leaky The ice cubes were melting		Better Late Than Later Those nagging home repairs
Kitchen Man He's baking cookies		Kids Rule Don't ever forget it.
The Kate & William Show The royal wedding		Just Suppose Your daydreams came true
Junk Mail Junk Inside a SPAM filter		Junk Cars, Tall Grass and Tradition
Juggling Cars No way to get home		Jimbo's Famous Baked Potato
Brave New iWorld iPad, iPod, iPhone, iTunes		The Irish-for-a-Day Everyone wants to be Irish.
An Interview with Santa An exclusive interview		iPhone Not for Dummies I'm not a gadget person
The Pro Hockey Game My first ever hockey game		The Interview I already had a great job.
Hysterical History of Thanksgiving		How Hot Is It? Don't sweat it.
How Hot Is Hot? Hot enough to fry and egg?		Home Improvements My roof leaks had to go
Battle of the Bush Trimming the Holly Bush		Holiday Inn First NetWits Convention
Hoarding Boxes I had to empty closets		I Want to Go to Hershey Just follow your nose
Hello Operator Love affair with the telephone		The Heaven Eye I didn't like it.
The Haunted House Prime real estate		Toys for Grownups Which gift to buy
Gourmet Junk Mail Food gift catalogs		Goodbye Stress Taking care of me
Going Buggy It can't be termites!		Going Crazy I've departed my senses
The Season of Giving and Taking		Wee Geek Child discovers computer
The Future is Hiding in the Car GPS in action		The Fungus Among Us Afflicted with Minor Ailments
This is Your Brain on Football I HATE Football.		Careful What You Ask For Free at last
Flash Flood! What in the world?		Things I've Learned from Fireflies
How to Become a Victim of Financial Fraud		We Are Testing the Fire Alarm System
A Fast Woman My new cable connection		February Wary A clunker of a month
Bringing in Fall Are you ready for autumn?		Another Year, Another Reunion - Family Reunion
Cat Tale Involved in a catfight		Fun at the Faire I forgot I wasn't going
Wasting Time on Facebook I didn't get anything done		Face Fixing Learning to use cosmetics
Explaining Extra Bucks Explain that to an allergy dr.		Eying the Eye Doctor Those awful eye drops
Elvis Land We do worship Elvis		The Escape Artist We adopted a wild cat.
12 Easy Steps for Wrapping Perfect Gifts		Who Burned the Popcorn? I like microwave popcorn.
E.R. The places are a zool.		Elvis Land We do worship Elvis
Out, Please! Button pushers on elevators		Cooking Up a New Stove Sparks shot across the room
Election Reflection It's finally done		Election-Go-Round I want it to be over
How to East Healthy Conspiracy to make people fat		Seeing Blue on eBay Forced to bid
The Eat-It-Up Diet Sick of being hungry?		The Earth Shoes Time for sandals
The Dust Mite War Fighting it my entire life		The Mother-in-Law Dress Mother of the groom
The Great Drapery Hanging An ordeal at my house		Dollywood Dolly Hooray for Dollywood!
Gone to the Dogs In the back of a pick-up truck		Dog Gone A dog lives under the bed
Dog for Sale One dog too many		Doctor Will See You Now Dr. offices are too automated
Dishwasher Disaster Dead in a poof of smoke		Letter from Detroit Been a while since I wrote
The Dental Emergency Ouch, I screamed.		Deep Sea Fishing 101 You must go to the sea.
The Only Good Bug is a Dead Bug		Honoring Dear Old Dad Father's Day
A Day at the Park The wildlife isn't wild.		It's Only a Matter of Time Daylight Saving Time
Daddy's Garage A private man's place		Bye, Bye, Barry, Goodbye A humor columnist leaves
The Case of the Curly Cut Ladies have a chat.		Feedback from a Valued Customer - An actual email
Call me Curley Lucky? I don't think so.		I've Been Bitten by Crocs A hideous, mud-flap shoe
The Covered-Dish Luncheon Theme was "eat healthy."		War Correspondents Creed This is my videophone
A Cool Grandma I am cool, y'all.		Corvette Fever I get flack about my car.
To Cook or Not to Cook Eat a frozen turkey dinner		How to Cook a Real Turkey The big day is coming.
The Conspiracy Telemarketers watch out		What's Cooking Cooking lessons
Addicted to the Computer Who? Me?		The Computer Crash The screen went black.
Cog in a Wheel Another rainy day		National Columnists Day April 18th
Luv a Clown Jolly happy characters		Caf� Cocoa and the Alien A Strange Looking Place
Back Seat Driver Getting harder all the time		Clothes Gone Crazy I keep buying more
Chocolate Chip Cookies Large & chewy cookies		Closet Gourmet Tired of frozen dinners
The Great Ceiling Scrape The handy man wasn't handy		Child-proofing You Home Advice from a grandmother
Candy is Dandy Sugar & Spice		Dream Car Full speed ahead
Cabin Fever Feeling stir crazy		Call Me Later Ban on cell phones
Hamster Goes From Buddy... No more hamsters		Who Burned the Popcorn? In the office microwave
Revenge of the Breast About Janet Jackson		Bring Back the Clowns Getting to normal
Wild, Blue, Yonder They flew...they're gone		The Scarlet Check Bouncer I wrote a bad check.
An Awesome Conference At Indiana University		What Big Teeth You Have Big Bluetooth
Black Friday In more ways than one		God Bless the IRS Uncle Sam calls me
The Cinnamon Raisin Bagel In the office toaster		The Birthday Boy Honey has a birthday
Baghdad Natalie And the Dixie chickens		Barefoot Barbie Purchased at Walmart
New Atlantis New Orleans sank		Tennessee Aviation Days The airshow came and went
Dry as Arizona Pouring down rain		Take Two Aspirin And call me
Fifteen Minutes of Fame I was famous this week.		Storytelling Animal Festival Hugh herds of animals came
Alligator Tale I have an ouchie		It's Almost Over Ways to mess up the vote
Achy, Breaky Remember Billy Ray Cyrus?		Sweet Home Alabamar Alabama road signs in Mass.
Rubberbands Latest Fad Kids are going gaga		Severe Winter Weather Watch out for artic blast
Domestic Diva VS Grumpy Granny		Too Much Thanksgiving Quips about Thanksgiving
Fleeing the Flu Enough about flu shots		Hell's TV What happed to sit-coms?
Remembering Autumn I want to go back to childhood		The Sky's a-Falling I felt like Henny Penny
Finally Friday TGIF Smile it's Friday		A New Place Corridors, halls, and signs
Afflicted by Arthur He is quite a character		A Shooting Spree Bang! Pow! Take that!
False Teeth Fiasco Tooth fairy rejected me		Dear Wife Swap As seen on television
Time to Call the Plumber Strange gurgling noises		What Color is Brown? I decided to dye my hair
Losing my Head If it wasn't fastened on...		Do-it-youself - Easy Assembly The chair was unassembled
Liberation from Purses Trying to lighten the load		Hasta la vista Ventura California tourist destination
Where do they come from? Walmart was packed		Wall-to-Wall The luxury of carpets
Road Trip Meet me in St. Louis		Invisible Dust The dust no one can see
Understanding A Mother The umbilical cord is never cut		Living to be 100 Who wants to live to 100?
Girls Who Wear Glasses Boys don't make passes		The Somalia Pirate Dog The newest Top Dog
Trivia I'm always a day late		Turtleneck Sweaters Too hot for summer
The Sales People Solicitors like dandelions		The Vacuum Cleaner The best bad invention
Saving Time Daylight saving time		The Hospital Experience Orthopedic surgery
Friday the 13th I�m not superstitious		Donuts to Go It must have been a curse
Puppy Love How can she be in heat?		Winter Storm The winter storm that wasn't
50 Questions Filling out medical forms		Economics for Blondes Money, money, money
Happy Flu Year Season to be sneezin'		Wish List for Santa What we really need is...
The New Computer System We don't get it		Losing It Where's the cell phone?
HotWings and Tears When wings are too hot		Just Plain Sarah & GI Joe the Plumber
Barbara and the dishes She hated washing dishes		Beowulf was here And that's what happened...
The Gas Crisis Why is there no gas?		Howl-o-ween Party A party for dogs?
Sr. Discounts Who me, a senior?		Running for the Running Mate - Why not me?
A Dog with no Name How could we call it?		Olympic Prodigy Why not my granddaughter?
Hooked on eBay Time for final bidding?		My Cat Can Fly Hutch to hutch to hutch
Progress Comes to Town New shopping center		Murphy's Laws for Little League Baseball
To Do or Not To Do What to do?		Pass the Biscuits It's a southern thang
Here Come the Mules Mule Day again		The Blue Angels Flying group in town
Hello Spring Spring is out of control		Little Boy Lost He knows where he is.
Speaking of Starbucks A craze I don't understand		No, No, Not Snow! It's March, for Pete's sake
The Rest of the Story A trip to Florida		One Day at a Time with AT&T Never change your ISP
Playing the Comb How to make music		My Chili Recipe The great chili cook-off
Magic Watch Made by Mickey		Winter Vacation Going to mouseland
Learning to Drive In the old Chevrolet		Bad Hair Day A bad hair job
Home Alone Our canine visitor		Groovy Grandma The new iPod player
Hand Painted With red paint		The Hoarder An attic full of junk
Decorator's Dream Room Brown mustard walls		Blue Sequin Jacket Outshining Elvis
Getting the Kids Back in School School daze		The Therapeutic Massage Would she knead me like dough?
Shopping Fever Addicted to thrift stores		Grandma the Baby-Sitter She wore me out
New car or new toy? Time for a trade in		Personal Shopper Guardian shopping angel?
Not Amused by Amusement Park I feel sick!		A Living Symbol - The American Flag
I've been bitten by Crocs Ugliest shoes ever		Wake Up & Smell the Coffeepot Melting
Little League Take Me Out to the Ballgame		It's May! It's May! Renaissance Faire
The Caveman I know it was him		Night at the Opry Twangin' & Plunkin'
Springbreak Writer's Workshop		Spring is Sprung War on Weeds
Running without Rhythm Daylight Savings Time		Hometown Smyrna, TN
Medicare Madness Also called parts A,B,C, & D		Mentioning the Unmentionable History of Toilet Paper
Getting Nailed Acrylic Fingernail Craze		The Germ Freak They are everywhere
From Your Valentine I love you isn't enough		Invisible Snow I can't see any snow!
Fantasy Football vs The Hottub They Were Witches		The Starving Artist Art Sale Art to Match Any Sofa
The Gambler Losing at the Lottery		Who is That Masked Man? It's the Lone Ranger!
Incredible Growing Spaghetti I couldn't eat it all!		Never Too Old for Toys Do you remember childhood toys?
You Might Be Car-Crazy Is the car a part of the family?		The Storytelling Festival It's pretty self-descriptive
Self-Service World Pay at the Pump		It's NOT Good for You Spinach and E.coli
The Walking Horses Visit to the National Celebration		Pigging Out Joys of pulled pork barbecue
School Daze Is it September?		No Ice Refrigerator Repair Woe
Old Sol Interview Why so hot?		Tips to Beat the Heat Keeping your cool
Pie In Your Face A recent survey		In the Pink My new cell phone
I'm Not BIG Enough Riding the Roller Coaster		Hardware Hike Stores are just too big
Festival, Second Time Around I could have had fun		Greased Lightning I'm just too old to keep up
Strawberry Shortcake Only 3 ingredients?		Hamster Dance When you are old enough
On Writing Humor Time for term papers		The Wild Elevator Ride Why can't the work right?
Musical Rooms Like musical chairs... almost		HumorScope for the Year What�s in the stars?
You've Gotta Glow Story of three green pigs		Something's Fishy Here Genetically engineered fish
Wire, Breaker Bar, & Lightbulb Why so much trouble to get them?		Painting a Purple House I've never seen a purple cow...
Empty-Nest Syndrome When children leave the nest		Sleepless in a Sleep Clinic How can anyone sleep?
Clean Up, Spruce Up, Fix Up And watch out for adrenaline		What's In A Name? I Don't Have a Nickname.
The Plumber You can only ignore a leak for so long		Let's Just Walk A football game without parking
Furniture Safari Who wants new furniture?		It's a Dirty Business The real story of country living
It Isn't Spring Yet So don't get spring fever		All About Grits Sort of like cream of wheat.
Cooking with Garlic We had garlic for dinner tonight.		Going to the Mountains A Father's Day Tribute
Interview with a Turkey Thanksgiving is coming!		Mammogram Morning Rant about women's health
E-mail to Cupid One small favor to ask		Alpha Betta I agreed to a pet fish.
The Pizza Place I didn't think we would find it.		Baby, It's Cold Outside Managing winter weather
Invisible Cat Hell hath no fury...		The White Stuff Snow in the South
Things Can Always Get Worse! So.. a few things went wrong?		To Sleep or Not To Sleep Worrying about sleep disorders
Super Shopping Football vs. Shopping		My TV Has Bad Hair Poof - no picture!
Say, Can You See? Shopping for eyewear		Going Buggy Termite info and tips on control
Party Animal My honey is behaving obsessively.		The Chef Strikes Again Another cooking lesson
The Rooster Pitcher There really is such a thing		Rain, Rain, Go Away! I feel as if it will never stop.
Following Directions Even if they get me lost		My Friend Jenny I'll never get THAT overweight!
Tree Hugging Some trees have a pedigree		Time Out My grandson has gone home.
Showboat A Evening with the Tourists		Green Thumb I just don't have it - Why?
To the Computer Support Desk What's Safe Mode?		Oktoberfest Nashville ethnic festival
Tips on Doing Housework Cleaning the Caveman's Cave		Take Time to be Thankful Thoughts for Thanksgiving
Dear Gaylord Texan Texas sure is BIG		Fall Forward? Fall Back? Reinventing time
Once Upon a Renaissance In a land just over the hill ...		A Boy's First Frog The stuff of a small boy dreams
Goin' to the Crick It's just across the road		The Laws for Offices Don't check email.
Wild, Blue, Yonder The airshow is back in town		See Ya Later Alligator! Get out - permanently!
Suggestions for Summer How to have fun in the sun		Bird Clock Revisited A Singing Bird Clock
Spring Break in Pittsburgh Not a Cracker Barrel in sight!		See Rock City Seven States? I don't think so...
The Vegetable Garden Spring and the weekend farmer		I'm So Middle-Aged That... Laments of growing older
Survivor South Where surviving is a way of life		Chicago Ancient guys play rock
Of Boys and Red Balloons The store was a forest of balloons		Talking Trash I'm up to my chin in the stuff!
The Tradition It's time for another reunion.		Dear IRS No fine? No penalty? No audit?
I'm Bored Whose problem is that?		Happy Birthday to Me What's worse?
When You Snooze... Never let a man buy the groceries!		Sacking the SuperBowl Most-watch TV program of year
Season for Sneezin' The story on seasonal allergies		The Makeover All they see is your hair
Blessed are the Trailer Trash A look at mobile homes		What's Your Hurry? Why is everyone in a hurry?
In Tribute September 11, 2002		The Accident I was hit by a semi
To Mom Honoring Mom		The very unofficial version of a columnist convention
What to Wear Weather keeps changing
Two Faces of Christmas Christmas Coot vs Granny Grinch		Oh, Christmas Tree What happened to real tree
Interview with Mrs. Claus Behind a great man		The Cat's New Tree At last the tree is up
The Yuletide Stalker Help! I'm being stalked.		101 Things to Do With a Dead Christmas Tree
Death of an Angel Broken into pieces		All I Want for Christmas Two front teeth
Cat Toy Exactly what he wanted		Green Stuff A holiday tradition
Dear Santa I'm not the only grinch		Dear Santa Writing to say hello
Blue Christmas I'm contagious!		Christmas Weather Forecast A special weather statement
I'm a Grinch But maybe next year		Letter to Santa I'm still around
Bubba's New Years' Resolutions		I Resolve Beginning a New Year
Gonna be a Better New Year		Happy Online New Year Spending more time on net
Better New Year Gonna be a better year		With Resolution Another New Year
Bringing Up the Baby New Year Advice for a new year		Christmas Spirit Zing!
New Year's Resolution Will resolution succeed?		Mind Your Peas Black-eyed peas on New Year's
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