Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
Follow her on
Follow me on Facebook
Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall
Online Since 1999
||Wishes and Kisses....
Wishes and Kisses
While most women want something romantic and nice for Valentine's Day, my
expectations are considerably lower. What I would really like, is a nice dinner
out somewhere, some place that has waiters and dim lights and where you don't
have to drive-thru and yell your order into a speaker.
Apparently, other women have expectations that are more materialistic. On the
radio this morning they were advertising a Hunk of Love Vermont Teddy Bear, a
steal at $99. If a man gave me a $99 teddy bear, I would think that cupid has
shot him between the eyes -- and if not, he should.
My honey's idea of an appropriate gift usually varies greatly, somewhere between
a card and jewelry. It's the thought that counts, isn't it? Of course if he
happens to think of something with diamonds, that is okay with me. But, please,
no pajama-gram. Apparently, most women feel the same way as I've heard no ads at
all for pajama-grams this year.
Of course, the real purpose of Valentine's Day is not to buy a stupid gift. It
is to express your love and affection. I saw of list of thing on the Internet
that do not cost anything. One was to write a romantic message or draw a heart
on the bathroom mirror. If he decides to do this, let's hope it is not with my
brand new lipstick.
Other similar things included writing love notes and leaving them where she/he
might find them, such as on the steering wheel of the car. Most of the love
notes I find on my car are not from my honey, but from the police, telling me
what parking violation I've committed and how much the fine is. I don't think
they are sealed with a kiss either.
One rather interesting idea was to sprinkle Hershey's chocolate kisses on the
bed. Unfortunately, any edible gift left lying around my house might be
considered a doggy treat by a certain pet and would most probably be rapidly
consumed. I wouldn't want to spend the evening trying to explain to an emergency
vet how the dog happened to be poisoned with chocolate and tinfoil.
I think that chocolate is supposed to be an aphrodisiac. That's probably the
reason for the many heart-shaped boxes with chocolates in them that you see at
discount stores and drugstores. Like lingerie and a lot of things, this is a
gift for the giver as well as the recipient.
Flowers are always a gift that is hard to beat. If you want red roses on
February 14th, better order early or you will be stuck with pink or yellow. I'm
not sure why red ones are better or why roses are better than other flowers, for
that matter. Personally, I would rather have something that lasts a while longer
than roses. Buttercups are nice, and free, and blooming in February due to the
mild winter. My granddaughter has already gifted me with a bunch, though.
Paper cards are still the gift of choice for almost everyone, even if they come
attached to something else. They have been around for a long time and history
has it that we exchange more cards at Valentine'ôs than any other time except
Christmas. I remember getting a fancy Valentine card from Bobby Emerson once in
grade school. He was fickle, though, and soon jilted me and my card for another
Remembering this makes me think even more than a good dinner is probably the
best thing to hope for. If he jilts you later, nothing left around to remind
you, nothing to watch wilt and die, nothing to ruin your best new lipstick, and
nothing that will poison the dog.
Short of this, I will just be happy with a hug and kiss and a Happy Valentine
wish -- something that will not clutter the living room and have to be dusted.
Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
$5.00 + $4 shipping
Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping