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Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

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Wire, Breaker Bar, &....

The Wire, Breaker Bar, and Light Bulb

On Sunday morning my honey and I have developed the habit of going to the local pancake house for breakfast. This past Sunday was as usual, so we found ourselves headed down the road to the pancake place.

I need to mention that we had been looking for a new computer desk for several weeks, but hadn't found one yet.

"We could go look for the desk after we eat since we are already out," suggested my honey.

I had already figured on this and brought my checkbook. "I also need a few things," he added. "I need speaker wire, a breaker bar, and a light bulb." We could get that stuff at any Wal-Mart any time, I thought.

"We need to shop for the desk first because it will take more time," I pointed out. He agreed, but I knew he really was more interested in speaker wire than a desk.

We got to the pancake house, which is always busy, and put our name on the waiting list. While we were waiting for a table, he mused, "I could run over to the office supply store and get a breaker bar while we are waiting."

I couldn't believe it, but he left me setting there and went to the office supply store. I decided if they called our name, I would go in and eat and he would just miss out. Fortunately for him, he made it back in time.

After eating, we went to the furniture store - well, actually, to two furniture stores. For some reason he has to look in every store in town before buying.

They didn't have what we wanted at the first store, which was what I figured. We then went to another furniture store, a chain store just like two other stores we had already been to on other days, not to mention the four additional furniture stores we had browsed.

He finally found a desk that he liked. It was the exact same desk I had picked out the first day at the first store.

After the deal was done, he decided to look for an electronics store to buy his wire. That figures. A storm was coming up, but I knew he would not be satisfied until he got the wire. So we drove around in the traffic and pouring rain until we found an electronics store.

"Are you going in?" he asked

To buy a spool of wire? "No, I'll just wait here."

I thought he would be happy after that, but I should have known better. He still needed the light bulb.

"Can't you just get one at Wal-Mart?" I asked. It was still pouring rain and bolts of lightening were flashing.

"That delivery guy broke the bulb the other day. The store will replace it." So, we drove 25 miles in the rain to get a free light bulb. I was getting pretty aggravated.

Then he decided that we really should have purchased the hutch that went with the desk.

"I want to go home!" I said.

"Okay, I'll take you home and go back by myself. But we could just go by on the way home." Except it wasn't on the way home; it was in a different direction.

I gave up.

We drove all the way back to the furniture store in the middle of a storm.

I suppose I should quit complaining and just be happy that we are done shopping. At least I didn't have to go to five different Wal-Marts looking
for the right kind of light bulb.

Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss

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