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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner,
Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Winter Storm that Wasn't.... |
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The Winter Storm that Wasn't
I
suppose I should be thankful that we dodged the bullet and did not get
the ice storm that hit much of the South from Oklahoma and Arkansas to
Kentucky.
I am thankful, but I am not thankful for all the panic created by media
and especially TV weather.
They seemed so certain. The ice was coming. It would be here
the next day. They even told us the time that it would arrive,
about 10 AM.
So what do you do? In spite of the many times weather is predicted
incorrectly, can you afford to just ignore the dire predictions and risk
getting caught unprepared?
Somehow, I just had a gut feeling that it wasn't going to happen.
But what do my guts know about weather fronts? My arthritic knees
are better at predicting weather, but even they cannot be trusted as
they sometimes hurt for no reason at all.
Schools were closed for the day. Surely if schools are closed
there must be something to it.
We saw all the pictures on TV of what havoc the winter storm was
creating elsewhere. It was awful. Roads, trees, power lines
coated with a thick layer of ice. Tree limbs cracked and fell
behind the TV reporters. Power lines were down; there was no
electricity or heat.
How can you ignore predictions with the weather people jumping up and
down, pointing to maps, and screaming that it is coming?
The road crews salted the streets. Surely if they were using the
precious salt supply, the ice was coming.
Problem is, we are right on the border of where the weather fronts
usually go. We don't get rain and we don't get snow. Right
on the border is where you get ice. And we remember the big ice
storms that we've had in the not-that-distant past.
So, people make plans to stay home from work. With the ice hitting
in the middle of the day, they don't want to get caught downtown and
have to spend hour after hour in traffic trying to get home.
Surely with everyone staying home from work, the ice is coming. We
stocked up on bread and milk and snacks. I don't know why, but it
seems to be a southern tradition to stock up on food prior to a big
storm. As you can imagine, grocery stores love winter storms.
We watched the weather on TV and on the Internet and braced ourselves
for the big storm. We bit our fingernails and worried about
whether we would have electricity and whether we would be able to get to
work.
We watched and worried. Surely with all the grocery stores
sold out of bread and milk, the storm was coming.
At ten o'clock, it started, a wintery mix of rain, sleet, and snow, just
as they promised.
At 10:10, it was over.
That's it? Ten minutes and its over? They have got to be
kidding? They closed the school, salted the roads, and created
general panic over nothing? Again? What little bit of ice we
had melted in two minutes.
Newspapers ran picture of the big ice storms in 94 and 97. They
didn't have anything else to run. TV stations sent reporter north
to Kentucky to report on the ice that fell there. They didn't have
anything here to cover.
And so, we dodged the bullet. I should be glad. I am.
It's not that I'm ungrateful. Maybe prayer and worry work better
that weather dances. I don't know.
And I don't know what the explanations were for why the weather front
went north of us instead of making a direct hit. I didn't watch TV. I
went to work -- late.
Maybe my guts know more about weather than I thought they did.
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Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

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