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Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

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What to Wear?...

What to Wear?

Here we are at that silly time of the year again when it is impossible to know what to wear. Spring is wonderful, but for the fashion-conscious woman, it presents untold problems. While men only worry about how fast the grass is growing and when it will need to be mowed, women worry about whether to wear a sweater or a blouse.

Granted there are much bigger problems in the world, but it is the nagging little day-to-day decisions that can make us crazy.

"I wore a sweater to work this morning and now I'm sweltering," said one lady where I work while she fanned herself with the papers she was reading.

I know the feeling. Mornings are cool, so the turtleneck sweater seems perfectly fine, but later in the day, you wonder what in the world you were thinking and whether you were fully awake when you dressed this morning.

So, you try to find clothes that are "in between", neither hot nor cold. The little summer tees don't seem warm enough and the snug sweaters are pushed to the back of the closet. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have many in between clothes; they are all either summer or winter.

"Layer" advised one of my sensible friends.

So, I pile on the clothes until my arms cannot bend and I am barely able to walk. Then I spend the day taking off garment after garment as the temperature goes higher during the day. By the end of the day, I need a wheelbarrow to carry my clothes home. I am just not the layering kind of person. I want to get dressed once.

The heat situation at the office doesn't help much either. In a large building, they never seem to get the temperature quite right. After a cold snap when the thermostat was high, we smother while waiting for a maintenance man to come adjust it.

And about the time that it is turned down to a comfortable level, what happens? You guessed it. It becomes cold again and we shiver and curse the weatherman while waiting for maintenance to come turn the heat back on. The way the sun hits the windows of the building seems to make temperatures vary a lot as well. Mornings are shady and cool, afternoons sunny and hot.

Meanwhile, we still have the original problem of what in the world to wear without looking like a rag woman or a teddy bear.

I think I have finally figured it out, more or less. Medium weight pants, neither my light summer ones with the stripes, nor the thick ones like my corduroy favorites. Let's see, that leaves about three pairs that I can rotate. Then there are the shirts with long sleeves that seem to work pretty well. Top it off with a cardigan sweater and I can pass until the sun starts doing its thing with the windows.

Coats are impossible. While it is cold enough for a coat in the morning, I find myself carrying it on my arm in the afternoon. Time to dig out those fleece jackets and "all weather" coats. All weather? Now that's a term invented by the fashion industry, well aware of the changing seasons. Nothing is "all weather." I think it means that it will shed water as long as it isn't pouring rain and will cut the wind, but not actually keep you warm.

Anyhow, by the time I get this between seasons thing all figured out, it will be summer and time to get rid of jackets and sweaters and go for light-weight skirts and short-sleeve tops. I'm ready. I'm so tired of dealing with the "what to wear" problem every day.

Now, if I can just figure out something to put on for today, I'll be good to go.

Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss


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