Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||E-Mail to Cupid....
E-Mail to Cupid
Subject: Urgent Request
Since this month is February, the month of love, and since you are
the bearer of love and affection, could I ask you to aim one of
your arrows at a certain person I know? Just one shot from your
arrow could probably bring him around to a more romantic way of
thinking. My guy forgets that February 14th is Valentine's Day,
and usually watches TV until he falls asleep.
After all, you have been patching relationships for ailing couples
for an eternity. Romeo and Juliet, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra,
Brad and Jennifer. Well, maybe some have turned out a little
better than others, but you know what I mean. Since you will be
out anyhow, flitting around in your underwear, couldn't you just
aim an arrow or two his way? I know you are not Dr. Phil, but I
don't really have time for a consultation and most likely he is
out shopping for a Valentine gift for his beloved anyhow.
With your excellent marksmanship, you could easily nail my guy. If
you think it would help, I can turn on the porch light when he
gets home so you don't have to waste a lot of valuable time doing
your business. I would hate to have to hold him down, though, as
he would certainly figure out what I'm up to then
I don't want you to shoot him in the heart -- just wing him a
little. A direct shot to the heart would probably kill an old guy
like him. He might become so amorous that I could not control him.
I would hate for you to be responsible for any nasty incidents
that might occur --- or is that just wishful thinking?
Thank you for your kind attention and I will be looking forward to
Subject: RE: Urgent Request
you for your inquiry via email. I always make my utmost effort to
respond, especially with circumstances as desperate as those you
describe. I am indeed known through out eternity for my
intervention in matters of the heart; however, the request you
make is a most serious one.
By the way, while it's true than some matches have been better
than others, remember that except for me, they would never have
fallen in love at all. It is better to have loved and lost, and
all that stuff, you know.
One shot from my arrow will give anyone a romantic way of
thinking. Your beloved will forget about TV and his computer and
shower you with love and affection. Do you like flowers,
chocolates and perfume? How about a pair of diamond earrings or a
red silk nightie?
I am the ORIGINAL "love doctor" -- way before Dr. Phil
or Dr. Ruth. I don't waste time on analysis -- just one arrow and
ZING! It a sure shot for a sagging relationship every time with no
All men have a tender spot somewhere. It only takes the right
woman and a little incentive for him to become love struck and
hopelessly head over heels. I would suggest a word of caution,
however. Be sure --- very sure -- that this is the man of your
dreams. Once my arrow smites him, he will be under the power of
the greatest motivational force known to mankind. Wars have been
fought for the sake of love.
I will look forward to being at your service and will plan to
arrive early on February 14th. No human being should live without
love. Don't worry about me finding him, I have my methods and
always get my prey.
By the way, if you should feel a tiny sting yourself, do not be
alarmed. Love works best when it is mutually shared. So, just
enjoy that warm, loving feeling and do not attempt to resist
letting your heart melt. I have just checked my records and it
seems that I have received an email concerning you also.
Men can also write letters to Cupid, you know.
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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