Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern
  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Vacation from Work....

Vacation from Work

"Are you taking off next week?" asked my co-worker. We have two days off for the Christmas holiday, so a lot of people are taking the other three days also, a good way to get a week off without using up your leave. I had already asked off for Monday.

"Well, I planned to work on Thursday and Friday, but I would like to get some rest." I have not had a vacation in ages and I need some down time. Counting the weekends, I would get nine days off. I should be able to get a lot of rest in nine days.

That Saturday, my first day off, I decided that I needed to clean the house. It was filthy. I've had some remodeling done. There was sawdust everywhere. It takes an entire day just to run the vacuum and clean up the mess. And Christmas is coming soon!

On Sunday, We decided to unpack and put back all the things that we had to move out of the workers way, lamps, pictures, knickknacks. A good idea, and as long as everything is off the furniture, I might as well polish the wood first.

Monday, the day before Christmas Eve - I want the house to be somewhat normal for Christmas, so I polish my silver and copper items, a job I hate, wash glass items, and put back everything the way it should be. Sure looks nice. After two solid days of housecleaning, I'm pooped.

Christmas Eve already - I need to go to the grocery store or we will not have anything to eat. The store is packed. Well, what did I expect? I will get a sliced ham so I will not have to do too much. Of course, I have to fix my famous green Jello salad and a few other side dishes. Gee, I'm worn out from cooking and cleaning and tomorrow is Christmas.

Christmas Day – Grandkids are here. Presents are open and wrapping paper thrown all over the place. I clean up all the mess and put the food out. Everyone eats, and I clean up that mess. I don’t want to do house cleaning on Christmas, so I leave it for the next day and try to enjoy Christmas.

Thursday – The guy is coming to install my new dishwasher. Did I mention my old one died and I've been washing dishes the old-fashioned way? Direct TV is also coming. The TV is on the blink. The laundry is meeting me in the hallway, so I have to do that. I thought I was supposed to be getting some rest?

Friday – Things start out well, except there are so many little things left that I need to get done while I am off and have time. I make a list. Paint bathroom door, vacuum tops of cabinets (I didn't get to that before) Work on door to attic that is sticking, and the door on my computer desk came off. I tried, honestly, but this is stuff for a handyman, not me.

Saturday – I have to go to work next week, which means I need to go to the grocery store again to get food for lunches. I also need to go to the drug store and to Wal-mart to return that mini-blind that doesn't fit. As long as the line for returns is, I'm wondering if I should just throw it away and get a new one.

Sunday – I need to get rid of the Christmas decorations. I have to press and hang up the clothes I got for Christmas. I haven't had time to try things on yet and they are still in the boxes. Tomorrow it is back to the office.

Monday – Gee, the nine days sure flew by. It is good to get back to work where I can finally get some rest. Staying at home is just way too much work.

Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss

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