Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Trimming the Tree...

Trimming the Tree

At my house, my grandson always wants to be included in anything to do with Christmas. One of his favorite activities is helping to trim the Christmas tree. Including children in holiday festivities helps to create traditions and gives them childhood memories. Here are some helpful suggestions on how to trim a Christmas tree so that children can be a part of your Christmas celebration.

Bring the artificial tree down from the attic.

Remove the child from the top of the box and warn him about the dangers of climbing.

Take out the limbs and place them in piles according to their size.

Remove the limbs that the child puts in the wrong piles.

Let the child hand you the branches as you insert them into the tree trunk.

Remove the limbs that the child inserted in the wrong place while you were busy.

Warn the child that the tree may turn over if the branches are not evenly placed.

Stand the tree back up and be certain that the child was not injured.

String colorful lights around the tree, starting at the top and winding down around the tree.

Remove the lights that are wound around the child.

Drape a garland or some bright ribbon around the tree before adding the ornaments.

Throw away any ornaments that the child breaks while you are busy draping the garland.

Plug in the lights.

Plug in the lights again and warn the child about the dangers of pulling electric plugs out.

Show the child how to hang ornaments on the tree.

Carefully re-hang any ornaments that fall off. This will be most of them.

All the ornaments will be placed on the bottom branches by the child.

Resist the urge to move them.

Lift the child up and allow him to place the angel at the top of the tree.

Have the child check the ornament boxes to see if they are empty while you fix the lopsided angel.

Remove the child from the empty Christmas tree box.

Return the empty boxes to the attic.

Re-plug the lights.

Look for the missing child until you realize there is only one place left.

Go to attic and remove the child from the empty Christmas tree box.

Sweep up the glass from the antique ornaments that were broken during decorating.

Warn the child about the dangers of handling broken glass.

Put a band-aid on your injured finger.

Re-plug the lights again and remind the child that Santa is watching.

Admire the tree, even though all the ornaments are on the bottom branches, the lights are unplugged, and the angel is slightly lopsided.

Copyright 2002 Sheila Moss

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