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Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is a free-lance writer from  Tennessee. She writes  funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family matters and anything else that  she finds amusing.

 She is seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton AdvocateDaily News of Kingsport (online) and appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish Times.  She has written for  Atlanta Woman Magazine, and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of books. Her articles have appeared in numerous other publications, both print and online.

She is a board member and the Web Editor of  Columnists.com, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for  news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com. 

To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. He rates are guaranteed affordable.  It's that easy.



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The Tradition....
 


The Tradition

Once again it’s a holiday weekend and once again it’s time for our family reunion. The tradition goes way back and seems to continue on year after year. When I was a child, my mother and all her siblings gathered in the summer at my grandmother’s house. It is a large family and they all tried to come at about the same time to see each other.

Finally, there were too many grandchildren to all fit into grandmother’s house, so the gathering was moved to a park where it continued for many more years. Eventually my grandmother and grandfather passed away, the children grew old, and the grandchildren became parents, but the tradition continued. The only difference was that the old people didn’t like sun and bugs and moved the gathering to a recreation hall.

It has always been a potluck dinner, with each family bringing enough to feed themselves and the rest of the entire group. It is up to the ones that live in the area to bring the "homemade" food. Those that have to travel a long way and stay in a motel buy the buckets of chicken, potato chips and soft drinks.

Since I’m one of the cooking members, the problem I have is always what to take. It doesn’t have to be fancy; it simply has to be good. Heaven forbid that you should show up with a dish not as tasty as every one else’s. It would be mortifying! Of course, some things are not to be improved upon, for example, my aunt’s coconut cream, melt in your mouth pies. There is no need to even try to top that.

I recall the terrible year that I tried to make a cherry cobbler that was a flop. I usually make delicious cherry cobbler, but for some reason, undoubtedly just to embarrass me, it turned into water. I shudder to remember. Oh, the shame of bringing a dish not up to family standards. I really have to fix something good to try and make up for this disaster.

Every lady tries to outdo everyone else in the cooking department, bringing their best culinary delights. The table is so laden with food the legs bulge and can hardly hold it all – and that’s after everyone eats. We don’t know how it happens, but somehow the food multiplies and there is more left over that there was when we started.

Someone always brings southern pork barbecue so I usually make beef barbecue for my main dish. This sort of balances things for those with hardening of the arteries that have to forgo the traditional greasy, southern fare. Actually, there are a good many of us who need to give up the calories as well, as overeating is beginning to show on bellies and buns.

My daughter makes delicious lasagna that everyone seems to like. I might just let her do that and save myself some trouble. Casseroles are always good at a social dinner. That, along with a nice salad of some sort, and maybe a homemade banana pudding, if the dessert gremlins don’t turn it into yet another disaster, should be a sufficient contribution.

Whatever I decide on, I am certain to have more food to bring back home than I took. I’ve never been able to figure out why we make so much food, but it seems to be as much a part of the tradition as the reunion itself.

For some unknown reason, there is a mysterious fear of someone not getting enough to eat. That has never happened yet. But maybe I should fix both the barbecue and the lasagna, just to be sure. Wouldn’t want anyone going home hungry now, would we?


Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
 
 



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