Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
The Tomato Festival
tired of doing nothing," I said. "We never do anything
anymore except go to work, do chores, do errands, watch TV and
go back to work. We need to do some fun things. We are in a
"I'm ready what do you want to do?"
"Well, I heard about something that sounds like fun - a
"What's a tomato festival?"
"I don't know. I think it will be sort of like Oktoberfest
that we went to a few years ago."
"When is it?"
"I'm shopping for school clothes with your grandson on
"I know and I have to take the cat to the vet Saturday
So it goes... the reason we never have any fun... too many
things to do and not enough time for fun.
Wait, we can make this work. The cat's appointment is in the
morning. "Can you shop for school clothes on Friday after
And that's how we made time to go to the tomato festival. It was
about half over by the time we got there, of course. Honey
somehow managed to parallel park in a place about half big
enough for the car and we were ready to have fun.
It was so hot that I wasn't sure how long I could last in 90
degree weather. I wore my sunhat from Egypt, but the sun was
beating down. It should have been a sun festival.
We missed the morning parade, but there were vendors,
entertainers and activities -- like throwing tomatoes and
bobbing for tomatoes.
"This looks just like a street fair," observed honey.
"It is a street fair. That's probably why."
I was interested in looking at the various crafts and artisan
jewelry. I like crafts... but the prices! "Some of these
people really think a lot of their work," I observed,
looking at a $70 price tag for a wall plaque.
There was a lot of tomato art, if you like pictures of tomatoes.
I didn't think a tomato picture would go with my décor, even if
I could afford it. I also found some cute tomato necklaces, but
figured I wouldn't wear a tomato hanging around my neck. I
passed by the booth selling sliced tomatoes as I am probably the
only person in the world that doesn't eat tomatoes.
I did want something tomatoish, though. After all, it was a
tomato festival. I ended up buying a cute dish that looked like
a tomato. It was one of the first things I saw when we arrived.
I had passed it by as I thought I might find something I liked
more. I didn't, so I came back.
"Don't you want to get anything," I asked.
"I need a brush to clean the barbeque grill," he
They don't have something like that at an arts festival, so we
found a Dollar Store behind some vendor booths where honey
bought his brush.
We sat in the shade and listed to a music group, I was
sweltering in this heat and starting to feel sick. I was ready
The best thing I saw at the festival was some unique wooden folk
art pieces. My cheapness genes shifted into overdrive, however,
and I refused to pay the prices. "I could make that!"
On Monday I went to Hobby Lobby and bought craft paint for ten
bucks and brushes for two dollars. I was way ahead if you don't
count time spent crafting.
I'm now on my third coat of paint and haven't even started on
the good part yet. That craft paint doesn't cover very well.
But we had a fun time and I have a fun idea for a project -- if
I ever get it finished. To tell the truth, I'm beginning to see
why they charge so much for that stuff.
Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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