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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
Southern
Humorists.com as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers
organization and this website, Humor
Columnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Sheila Moss

Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall
National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

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Fall Forward? Fall Back?.... |
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Fall
Forward? Fall Back?
The
other morning I had to get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.
Know what? It was dark that early in the morning! I was
shocked to realize that the days are getting shorter.
Until then I hadn’t noticed since it’s usually daylight by
the time I leave for work.
Now that Daylight Saving Time has ended, we are back on good old
standard time. We will have more daylight in the morning -
at least for a while - but afternoons will get shorter and
shorter until there is none at all.
Instead of ranting, I’ll just point out a few of the more
amusing
consequences of moving daylight in the evening to the morning:
Let’s see, it’s Spring forward … Fall back, right?
You reset all the clocks, but your biological clock doesn’t
have a reset button.
It’s light in the morning, but depressingly dark by the time
you get off work. You wonder where the day went, as you sure didn’t
see any of it.
You forgot to set the coffeepot timer forward, so the coffee
came on an hour early, went off an hour early, and the coffee
is cold - a thrilling discovery in the blinding light of early dawn, standard time.
You spend 15 minutes turning the microwave off and on, trying to
figure out how to set the clock. Finally you decide who
cares, microwaves don’t need clocks anyhow, only timers.
You long ago gave up trying to reset the clock in your car and
are shocked to see that it has the right time - which goes to
show that we don’t really need to change time to be right at
least half of the time.
You forgot to turn back the clock at 2:00 am and got to church
early. You were astonished that you were the only one
there and wonder if the world ended and you missed it.
The clock on your computer sets itself forward, nice…. but you
forgot and did it again. Now it looks like 8 o’clock, is
actually 7 o’clock, and feels like 6 o’clock.
Some folks arrive for work an hour early because they forgot to
fall back. Some folks arrive two hours early because they thought it is
Spring back…Fall forward. You can tell who they are
because they are the grumpiest.
You can’t remember whether you changed your wristwatch so you
change it again, only to realize that you can’t trust your
watch either. You have to call “time and temperature”
to find out what time it is.
The timer is wrong on the VCR so you miss half of the movie you
were recording. Of course, you don’t realize this until
you’ve already watched the first half.
You should turn clocks 11 hours forward shouldn’t you, instead
of one hour back? That’s what all the clock
experts say – but they don’t say how to get the clock to
stop chiming.
You decide daylight saving time is actually just a plot to
confuse us by making us think we are saving energy. You are glad you don’t
have to save any more energy because you don’t have much left
to save.
You can’t figure out why you are so tired when you got an
extra hour of sleep. Then you remember that you woke up by your
biological clock instead of the time on the digital radio alarm.
You dream of moving to Arizona and wonder if you would feel
better by not participating in this nonsense. Of course,
it could be worse. In Indiana part of the state
participates and part doesn’t.
If I got some of these events backwards, don’t be surprised.
It only goes to show that like everyone else – I’m confused!
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Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail

Seen In

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