You might have Swine Flu
been hearing a lot in the news about a disease called swine
flu. Laughter is always the best medicine for flu or any other
illness. From the funny farm, these are the
YOU MIGHT HAVE SWINE FLU IF. . .
* You always pig out at food bars.
* You got a traffic ticket for being a road hog.
* You only go to work to bring home the bacon.
* You call your bathtub the wallowing hole.
* Looney Tunes offers you a movie contract.
* You are worried about whether pork is the real white
* People think you are snooty.
* You have a jar for bacon drippings on your dresser.
* You keep your valuables in a lard bucket.
* Your breath smells like bacon frying.
* You sizzle when you suntan at the beach.
* You are married to a male chauvinist pig.
* You sleep like a pig in a blanket.
* The butcher asked to take your pulse.
* Your favorite movie is Babe.
* Your favorite book is Olivia the Pig.
* Barbeque restaurants make you nervous.
* Your mother's name is Miss Piggy.
* You keep the baby in a pigpen.
* Your vehicle of choice is a Harley Hog.
* You like to ride piggy-back.
* You are developing a sizable pot-belly.
* You believe in a high-fat diet.
* Your hair is braided into pig tails.
* Your favorite pass time is mud wrestling.
* Your favorite sports team is the Razorbacks.
* You refer to your kids as the three little pigs.
* Jimmy Dean wants to adopt you.
* You are exercising to get rid of your ham hocks.
* You speak perfect Pig Latin.
* Your fur coat has a curly tail.
* You snort when you laugh.
* You buy your groceries at Piggly-Wiggly.
* You wear a ring in your nose.
* You are living too high on the hog.
* Your kids are named Portia and Porky.
* Your kitchen looks like a pig sty.
* You actually went shopping for pig in a poke.
* You call your shoe rack the family tree.
* You eat mash for breakfast instead of cereal.
* You love mud pack facials.
* You have gravy stains on the front of your clothes.
* You refer to leftovers as pig slop.
* You keep your money in a piggy bank.
* Your dream is to live in hog heaven.
* Your house is mortgaged with Frosty Morn.
* You think of vacations as, "When pigs fly".
* You've gone hog-wild on MySpace.
* Your favorite quotation is "That's all folks!"