again my guy is glued to the television set all weekend watching
back-to-back football games.
"Is that the same game? It's been on for 4 hours.'
"No, it's a different one now."
How would guys like it if we gals behaved the same way
they do about something we like to do? Take shopping, for instance.
We would have a favorite mall to shop at and think our
mall is the best mall in the city, even though all malls are pretty
much the same. We would buy T-shirts, sweatshirts, and hats to support
our mall and show our loyalty. We would wear our mall's logo to let
other people know which mall we favor, but it would be especially
important to wear these items when watching television commercials.
We would spend entire weekends glued to the television
set watching commercial after commercial. If a program came on between
commercials, we could ask our guy to bring us a beer or some
refreshments so we could be sure to be there when the commercials come
Even though we could record the commercials on video,
watch an instant replay on TV, and might even see the commercial
during another program, it just wouldn't be the same if we didn't see
it the first time it aired. It might cause our mall bad luck if we
fail to see the newest commercial. It could even cause the mall to be
sold and moved to another city.
We would form Fantasy Shopping Leagues with the other
gals at the office where we would pick favorite stores and watch
special sales to see how much better our store's sales are than those
of the competing stores. At the end of the year, we would have a big
party, kid each other, and give trophies to the gals who saved the
most fantasy money.
Occasionally, we might actually go to the mall and
spend time shopping. This would be a rare and important event planned
well in advance and anticipated with great excitement. On shopping day
we would get there early, invite our friends, and have a tailgate
party in the parking lot with the other customers while we waited for
the mall to open.
We would talk non-stop to the other gals about the
latest shopping expedition, the fabulous buys we made and how we
scooped that item right out from under the nose of another shopper and
ran 50 yards to the checkout without getting tackled or dropping the
item. This story might be retold dozens of times, and each time it is
told, the item purchased would be harder to obtain and more expensive.
We would lament for weeks if one of the gals maxed out
her credit card. We would think about who might replace her during the
next sale and whether the substitute would be as good a bargain hunter
as she is or merely a fill-in until she returns. We would follow her
credit line closely. However, if she shops frequently at a mall that
competes with our favorite, we hope she will remain maxed out until
the end of the fiscal year.
At the end of the year, all the malls in the US would
have a sale-off to pick the two best malls. These malls would compete
with each other for the Super Mall Championship in an end-of-year
clearance sale extravaganza. There would be celebrity performances to
draw customers, media coverage for a month, and much hype surrounding
There would be a raffle to see which shoppers actually
get to attend the clearance sale. Scalpers would sell parking spots on
e-Bay. Not actually being able to shop would not deter loyal shoppers,
who would wear their favorite T-shirts, order pizza, and have end of
the year Super Mall Parties to watch commercials for their favorite
"That's ridiculous," says my guy.
"Oh, yeah? Why isn't it ridiculous to you guys when you act this
way about football?"