Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
people don't know this, but I've always had a secret yearning to
be a famous cook like Betty Crocker, Sara Lee, or Mrs. Smith. Only
one small thing has prevented this, I can't cook. I discovered
this at about the same time I decided that I didn't like cooking
anyhow. What a happy coincidence!
Nevertheless, my homemaker genes have been
titillated recently, and I've decided to share one of my favorite
recipes -- strawberry shortcake. The grocery stores are filled
with red, luscious strawberries at this time of the year, creating
a craving for strawberry shortcake, which is immediately squelched
in my case by thoughts of cooking. The best thing about strawberry
shortcake, however, is that you don't have to cook -- another
For strawberry shortcake, you need only three ingredients: cake,
strawberries, and whipping cream. In the olden days, before I
discovered that I was not Betty Crocker, I would actually try to
bake a dry, yellow cake of some type. Now, I'm no longer hampered
by that illusion, so I just buy a plain pound cake, which serves
the purpose perfectly and doesn't set off any smoke alarms.
Strawberries are easy to prepare, just pinch or cut off the tops
and wash the berries. Throw away any strawberries that look too
green or too ripe. Presuming you have shopped wisely and not done
too much taste testing, there should still be at least half a
package left, which is plenty.
Cut the cake into squares or slices, it doesn't matter which. The
cake is not the most important thing, the strawberries are. In
fact, you could probably leave out the cake entirely -- but why?
I've never been a connoisseur of strawberries. I once knew a lady
who actually grew fresh strawberries. When serving dessert, she
asked, "How do you like your strawberries?" I had no
idea what she was talking about until she enlightened me. "I
like mine mashed, my husband likes his sliced, and some people
just eat them whole. You can also eat them sugared or not."
I like them plain and whole. Why ruin a good thing? However, if
you must have them sugared, slice them first, generously sprinkle
with sugar and allow to set for a while until the sugar dissolves
and makes a sticky syrup. Then spoon the strawberries over a
serving of cake.
I might interject here that some people use angel food cake. This
is not the way to make strawberry shortcake in my book, but if you
want to use something else, go on and I'll just pretend not to
know. There is also a biscuit-like thing called shortcake, which
is where the name came from in the first place. No thanks! I don't
want strawberries on a biscuit, unless they are in jam.
The second most important thing is whipped cream. Of course, real
whipped cream is the best, but that would require whipping it.
This is too close to cooking. Why take chances? I just buy the
phony stuff that is in the freezer case. Frozen whipped topping is
supposed to thaw in the refrigerator for 4 hours before using.
That's a long time to wait when your cake is in the dish and your
strawberries sliced and sugared, so this means remembering to thaw
it ahead of time.
Some people substitute ice cream for the whipped cream, but that
is not actually strawberry shortcake either. It is another dessert
entirely. I suppose if you forget to thaw the topping and have
company waiting at the table, it could be substituted. Of course,
peaches could also be substituted for the strawberries.
Now we are eating angel food cake with canned peaches and ice
cream and calling it strawberry shortcake? What a travesty! For a
recipe with only three ingredients and no cooking, strawberry
shortcake can certainly become complicated.
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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