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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal and Hill
Country Times and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
Southern
Humorists.com as well as a founder of the Southern Humorists writers
organization and this website, Humor
Columnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Sheila Moss
Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall
National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999
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Spring Fever.... |
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Spring Fever
It's entirely the groundhog's fault. He promised us an early
spring. Oh, the critter delivered on the early spring all right.
Flowering fruit trees were in bloom, folks were wearing shorts,
and my neighbors were out mowing grass. Yep, we all had it --
spring fever.
When the warm weather hits, I always get the urge to plant
flowers. Petunias were calling my name, so I went over to the
new hardware store and checked out the bedding plants. I had a
gift card left over from last winter. No sense in wasting it --
especially when I have spring fever.
On a warm weekend in early spring the garden center is worse
than the Interstate at rush hour. They were carting out the
plants, mulch, and fertilizer by the basket load. Hoses, sprayers,
shovels, and wheelbarrows lined up at the register for the patio
checkout lane. Like me, everyone in town had been hit by spring fever.
The flowers were so colorful and bright. How could any woman
resist buying a few plants whether she likes flowers or not? I
picked out some snapdragons and marigolds. As much as I love flowers, my
thumb has never been green enough to plant anything that doesn't
thrive easily, even when I have spring fever.
The yellow snapdragons were easy to reach, but the red
snapdragons were on the top shelf where I could barely reach
them. I didn't let that hinder me, though; I managed to get them down without
breaking my neck or dropping the flowers. Nothing can stop me
when I want flowers, especially when I have a severe case of
spring fever.
Back home, I attacked my backyard with vigor, chopping down the
dead Black-Eyed Susans from the previous season, pulling weeds,
raking dead leaves and dry grass like a wild woman. The blossoms
from my crabapple tree fell around me like rain - but even
spring allergies take a back seat to spring fever.
The down side to buying plants is that you have to plant them.
The planting part is not nearly as much fun as the buying part, especially when you have to pull weeds and grass first. By the
time I finished getting everything ready to plant, I was too
tired toplant anything. It was lack of energy, not lack of enthusiasm. I
still had severe spring fever.
As it turned out, winter had been lurking around the corner all
the time just waiting for those tender plants to be put into the
ground. The next thing I knew it was cold again. That stuff falling from
the sky wasn't pollen or apple blossoms the next day -- it was
snow! I guess that's what I get for believing that a varmint can predict
weather and letting him give me spring fever.
I remember other years when I have jumped the gun and planted my
flowers too early, only to have the winter return with a
vengeance to kill them. What could I do now with all the boxes of flowers
to keep them from freezing? Bring them inside, of course. Now my
kitchen table has spring fever.
It was chilly outside in my housecoat that night, trying to
cover my azaleas with a blanket so they wouldn't freeze. Then
the blanket blew off and my azaleas became victims anyhow, along with a lot
of other plants that grew too early because they too had spring
fever.
Every year I say the same thing. "Next year I'm not going
to plant any flowers so I won't have to worry about frost and
cold weather." But then the annuals bloom in front of the discount stores, and
I just can't resist buying plants. I don't know what it is, the
urge to plant and grow, the innate need for renewal of life -- or
simply spring fever.
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Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
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Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail
Seen In
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