Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Old Sol Interview
With the recent heat wave and all the concern about beating the
heat, we decided to go to the source and interview the deity in
charge of heat - Old Sol himself.
1. What sort of job do you have, Sol?
Well, I'm busy all the time. People depend on the sun to give
warmth and light to the world. If it were not for me, there
would not be any life on your planet, you know. I really do not
get the credit I deserve, which is why I get a little hot once
in a while, just to remind people who is in charge.
2. Do you try to keep a positive attitude?
Yes, but it gets a bit hard at times with people calling me lazy
and saying all I do is hang around in space. They seem to think
it's easy being in charge of an entire solar system. Good thing
I have such a sunny disposition.
3. Do you have any time for fun?
It isn't like the good old days when the Greeks and Romans were
around. Back then I had a lot of fun, driving across the sky
with flaming horses in a golden chariot. I even had a day of the
week named after me. These days, people do not even treat me
4. What do you think about humans?
They have a lot to learn about respect. Everyone from Egyptians
to Aztecs has worshiped me. Nowadays, the only ones who worship
me are beach bunnies and a few jocks that think a suntan is good
5. Do you ever think you would like to give up?
No, I'll stay on the job for the rest of eternity, or until I'm
burned out. People have created so much pollution and dust,
though, that it is reflecting my rays. My job gets harder and
harder. Don't know what's going to happen to the world if they
don't wise up.
6. Speaking of pollution, what about global warming?
It really isn't my fault. I'm just doing what I've always done,
but the world keeps getting hotter all the time, the polar ice
caps are melting, and the ocean is rising. Unfortunately, there
is no way for me to cut back my on my energy.
7. Do you like being the center of the universe?
It's sort of nice having people depend on me. I wish they would
use my solar energy more as a source of power. It's clean and
it's free. It would also be nice if people could sweat it out,
and quit complaining so much about my heat.
8. You must get a warm feeling from being needed?
Warm? I'm burning up! But, the sun shines on everyone,
regardless of whether they appreciate it or not. They try to
keep me away with suntan lotion, hats, umbrellas, all sorts of
stuff. But, shade is only temporary.
9. Do you always make a good impression?
No, sometimes I cause blisters, or worse, on those too stupid to
protect themselves from the intensity of my rays. I don't do it
on purpose, but a lot of people get burned trying to be my
10. Do you ever feel a bit useless, or do you always try to
Useless? I'll tell you what's useless. This stupid interview is
what's useless. You're starting to create a solar flare! Get out
of my face and quit trying to eclipse me. I have important work
to do and the entire universe is waiting.
Well, maybe we better call it a day -- if you'll pardon the
expression. I'm starting to get a bit sunburned from being so
close to you anyhow.
So... that's it from your suntanned reporter,
folks. Thanks for the interview, Old Sol. Good luck, and I'll see you
later out at the pool!
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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