Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
The rest of the country can only look on in wonder as the Northeast
panics over a snow storm. "Aren't they used to snow?" We
wonder. It snows there all the time. Do a few extra inches really make
much difference? They have snow plows, snow scrapers, salt, cinders,
snow blowers, and snow shovels galore.
Meanwhile the media goes wild, especially the weather media who, of
course, get out in the worst of it to show the nation just how bad it
is. "If it is so bad, what are they doing out in it?" We
Television shows how all the streets are deserted. "Usually this
is a busy street," says the weather reporter, "but today
there is a snow emergency in effect and no one is allowed out -- er --
with the exception of media. This allows the snow plows to do their
job and clear the streets," they assure us as the plow goes
around their parked vehicle.
"Speaking of plows, here comes one now," says the weather
reporter, just before being blasted with an avalanche of snow thrown
by the snow plow. "Did you get that on camera?" gasps the
half-buried reporter before being carried from the scene. Apparently,
snow plow drivers get extra points for running down television
reporters as this scenario is repeated in more than one instance.
Other reporters play it safe and report further away from main
thoroughfares. "This is the week of winter storms," says the
weather channel, "and it is not taking the weekend off. We could
have a series of storms." What an astute observation. It is
WINTER, isn’t it? You are in the NORTH, aren't you? Why is snow such
a big surprise?
It seems that hardy northerners saw what happened in Atlanta when a
snowstorm hit unexpectedly while everyone was at work. After making
light of the South for not knowing how to deal with snow, it would be
just too embarrassing if it happened in New York or Philly. So mayors
overreact and call for transportation closures, school closures, and
Weather reporters rise to the occasion. The eye of the nation is on
them now. They explain how wind can blow snow and create drifts making
snow seem deeper. No kidding. Are we so stupid we don't know what a
snow drift is? They proceed to walk through snow and then onto a drift
where they sink in over their knees. Thanks for explaining that. Now
go change your socks.
Using such terms as "Snowmageddon," reporters warn of dire
weather, worse than any storm in the past. We hear new terms, such as,
ocean-effect snow. Three feet of snow is on the way. "Better to
be safe than sorry," they declare.
After the storm has passed, reporters interview the few pedestrians
who are outside. Joggers stop to chat. “We are jogging regardless of
weather,” one declares, and jogs off down the street only to slip on
the icy surface and fall on her bottom. Unless you want to fall on
your behind on national TV, maybe jogging on snow is not such a good
Weather people go to Manchester, PA, where 36 inches actually did fall
and to the coast where waves whipped up by the wind did substantial
damage to homes and beaches. This proves they were right in at least a
couple instances. Funny, we don't remember them warning of high surf
prior to the storm.
"Weather prediction is an imperfect science. Better to be
prepared for the worst," declare the weather people. Oh sure, you
are just being cautious. "More snow, more snow coming," they
No kidding? As I said before, it is WINTER, isn't it? You are in the
NORTH, aren't you?
Copyright 2015 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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