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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999

Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail
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Dog with no name... |
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A
dog with no name
We went
to a breeder and picked her out even before she was old enough to
come home. She was cute, I must admit, really cute.
Before you ask, she is a Shih Tzu, a small frou-frou dog from a
breed originating in China.
It's been a long time since I've had a puppy at my house. I'm just
not quite sure what to do with her -- housebreaking, chewing, and
all those horrible things that puppies do. But she is really cute.
"What's her name?" everyone asks.
She doesn't have a name yet. We need to think of a name.
"How about Molly?" I ask.
My honey doesn't like that one, but he can't think of anything
else. The entire family gets in on the act, but nothing seems to
fit.
I wasn't really in favor of another dog. Honey wanted a dog, and I
finally caved in. His brother has a Shih Tzu. I blame him for
this.
The dog needed to go to the vet for a checkup, so the appointment
was made under "female puppy". We can't call her
"female puppy" forever. She needs a name.
I look on the internet: Daisy, Lulu, Missy? I suggest.
Lulu? "Like the cartoon?" he asks sarcastically.
"Daisy is cute. I like that." But he shakes his head.
Muffin, Buttons, Skittles, Dixie, Bubbles?
"I like Skittles," says my daughter. But we still can't
decide. Nothing seems right -- or good enough.
We go to the pet store to get a bed and a collar. We tell the pet
store lady about the new puppy and that she doesn't yet have a
name. "Just wait," suggests the lady at the pet store.
"She will name herself."
I don't think so. I don't want her to end up with a handle like
Trouble, Puddles, or Boo-Boo. No, we need to think of something.
"A lady at work says she gives her pets people names,"
suggests honey. That's the new trend. Pets are just like members
of the family, so people name them just like a person.
"People names like Molly?" I ask?
"No, names like Sam, Alex, or Cooper," he replies.
"Well, those are names for a boy dog. What about
Bonnie?" But he doesn't like that either.
To make it even worse, his brother's dog has a really cute name,
Harley. We have to think of something at least as cute as Harley.
What about a Jewish name? I suggest, even though she is Chinese.
We looked on the internet for Hebrew dog names: Hannah, Delilah,
Naomi, Rebecca, Mollie?
"Mollie is on the list," I say.
But he doesn't like the meaning, "bitter."
"She's a dog! What does it matter what it means?"
Everything else is too grand for a puppy or unpronounceable. We
want something people can pronounce.
Days go by. Poor nameless puppy, I am beginning to think her name
will be "The Dog."
"I need to name her before going to the veterinarian,"
says honey. "What do you want to name her?"
"What do 'I' want to name her?" I've been making
suggestions for two weeks -- now he wants ME to name her?
"She's YOUR DOG!" You decide!
Finally, on the morning of the doctor appointment, he puts her in
the pet carrier and gets ready to go.
"What's her name?" I dare to ask.
"Dixie"
We have a new dog at my house, a Shih Tzu. She is really, really
cute. Just in case anybody wants to know, her name is Dixie.
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Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
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