Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Saving Time....

Saving Time

Being on time, using time, losing time, saving time -- everyone is concerned about time, especially when it is time to change to daylight saving time. The worse thing about changing time all the time is trying to keep up with time.

To find out how addicted we are to keeping time, count the number of clocks you have. In my kitchen alone, I have four clocks: The kitchen clock, the singing bird clock, the microwave clock, and the clock on the stove. And that's just one room and not counting the clock I wear strapped to my arm. Nothing could be worse than not knowing what time it is.

Some clocks are smart and some not so smart when it comes to keeping time. Computers are smart and set themselves forward. But this is confusing, because I have to remember not to set them forward again. Cell phones are also smart. These smart clocks always make me feel useless, somehow.

But the less smart ones make up for any feeling of inferiority I might have. My mantel clock is really a dumb clock. It not only cannot set itself forward, it cannot even remember to run unless I wind it up with a key once a week. If all clocks these days had to be wound, I would never know what time it is. I have enough trouble remembering to put batteries in them once a year. Of course, clocks do have their own way of dealing with you if you forget to wind them or change their battery.

My clock radio is a smart aleck clock. It runs on electricity so I don't have to remember to change the battery. But it has a battery for a backup in case the electricity goes off. The strange thing is that the battery helps it to keep the correct time without electricity, but it conserves energy by not displaying the time. So the clock knows the time, but it isn't telling. How weird is that?

The clock in my car is so complicated that I can never remember how to reset it. It has something to do with the numerous buttons that control the radio, CD player, and all the other dashboard gadgets that I never use. It has the right time part of the year and is an hour off the rest of the year. I've given up even trying to change it. Problem is that I can never remember when it is right
and when it is wrong.

Daylight saving time is very popular and so it continues even though no one is really sure that it saves energy like it is supposed to do. Does having one more hour of daylight in the evening actually save energy or simply change energy use to the morning? And if it is so popular, why do we complain so much about it?

Changing time causes massive confusion with travel. Local time dictates when clocks are changed so at some point the time zones are not one hour different, but two. And that's not even to mention countries that change to daylight saving time on a different dates or not at all. One thing for sure, people seem to drive better in the daylight. That alone might make it worth the trouble.

Personally, I am willing to put up with the time thing as a minor inconvenience twice a year. I really do miss the extra hour of sleep, though. Yes, I know I will get it back in the fall, but that's so far away that it will not even matter anymore by then. Some people would like to go to daylight saving time and stay there instead of going back and forth all the time. That would probably make too much sense though.

I would really like to talk more about time, how to save time, and how to use time, but like everyone else, I really don't have the time right now.

Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss

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