Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Liberation from Purses

After a lifetime of toting around a big heavy purse, I have been liberated. No, my purse was not stolen.  I just realized how heavy it is and wondered what I could do to lighten the load.

Nearly all women carry purses, some are the size of a small suitcase and could really use wheels. It's a wonder we don't break our backs. In my case, my knees are going bad and any extra weight I can get rid of is a good thing.

Why do we carry all this junk around? Are we so afraid that we won't have essentials that we burden ourselves down with too many non-essentials?

We tote around wallets with cards for every appointment we will ever have, not to mention credit cards, driver's license, insurance cards, AAA card, membership cards, discount cards, and business cards.

We have makeup, hairspray, lotion, hand wipes, comb, lipstick, hairbrush, manicure set, band-aids, Kleenex, and makeover equipment for a bad hair day.

There is the cell phone, change purse, address book, keys to everything we own, and photos of all the kids and grandkids.

No wonder those purses weigh in over the luggage limit.

Are we really going to have an emergency that requires all this equipment every time we leave the house? If not, why are we carrying around an emergency toolbox?

Let it go, I decided.

It was hard. I love my stuff just like every other woman. Deciding what I need and what I can leave at home is difficult. However, something has to be done. I could not continue to tote around a cosmetic counter, reference library, emergency room, and family photo album.

I took a small zipper purse, added money, a credit card, driver's license, insurance cards, a car key, and cell phone. It would all fit in a pocket.

That's it? That's all I need? 
Yes, it is. If I need a makeover, I can do it at home. My cell phone has all the vital info in electronic form. The likelihood that I will die of thirst if I don't carry my own bottled water is really not very likely. I probably won't go anywhere that I can't get out of the rain so why do I need a rain bonnet or poncho?

It felt funny at first, almost frightening. After a while, I realized that I didn't use 99% of the stuff anyhow. And the very few times I did need something was not worth the trouble of dragging it around unused for an entire lifetime.

How many times have you actually whipped out that handy sewing kit to fix something? If you are that paranoid, carry a safety pin. I promise you, it will be years before you need it and you could probably buy one even then.
So, that's it. I'm liberated from purses. I'm hands free and light as a feather. So far I've not had a panic attack when I needed something that was at home. I waited or found a substitute.
Could someone loan me some change now? I need to feed the parking meter.

Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss

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