Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Liberation from Purses
After a lifetime of toting around a big heavy purse, I have been
liberated. No, my purse was not stolen. I just realized how
heavy it is and wondered what I could do to lighten the load.
Nearly all women carry purses, some are the size of a small suitcase
and could really use wheels. It's a wonder we don't break our backs.
In my case, my knees are going bad and any extra weight I can get rid
of is a good thing.
Why do we carry all this junk around? Are we so afraid that we won't
have essentials that we burden ourselves down with too many
We tote around wallets with cards for every appointment we will ever
have, not to mention credit cards, driver's license, insurance cards,
AAA card, membership cards, discount cards, and business cards.
We have makeup, hairspray, lotion, hand wipes, comb, lipstick,
hairbrush, manicure set, band-aids, Kleenex, and makeover equipment
for a bad hair day.
There is the cell phone, change purse, address book, keys to
everything we own, and photos of all the kids and grandkids.
No wonder those purses weigh in over the luggage limit.
Are we really going to have an emergency that requires all this
equipment every time we leave the house? If not, why are we carrying
around an emergency toolbox?
Let it go, I decided.
It was hard. I love my stuff just like every other woman. Deciding
what I need and what I can leave at home is difficult. However,
something has to be done. I could not continue to tote around a
cosmetic counter, reference library, emergency room, and family photo
I took a small zipper purse, added money, a credit card, driver's
license, insurance cards, a car key, and cell phone. It would all fit
in a pocket.
That's it? That's all I need?
Yes, it is. If I need a makeover, I can do it at home. My cell phone
has all the vital info in electronic form. The likelihood that I will
die of thirst if I don't carry my own bottled water is really not very
likely. I probably won't go anywhere that I can't get out of the rain
so why do I need a rain bonnet or poncho?
It felt funny at first, almost frightening. After a while, I realized
that I didn't use 99% of the stuff anyhow. And the very few times I
did need something was not worth the trouble of dragging it around
unused for an entire lifetime.
How many times have you actually whipped out that handy sewing kit to
fix something? If you are that paranoid, carry a safety pin. I promise
you, it will be years before you need it and you could probably buy
one even then.
So, that's it. I'm liberated from purses. I'm hands free and light as
a feather. So far I've not had a panic attack when I needed something
that was at home. I waited or found a substitute.
Could someone loan me some change now? I need to feed the parking
Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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