Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
have this thing about the color purple. I don't know what it
is, but for some reason I have the feeling that I cannot wear
purple because it does not look good on me. It may be that I don't look good in any other
color either, but I like to think that it is only the color
There used to be an idea that there were seasons of color.
Each season had its own group of colors: autumn was gold,
brown, rust; spring was pink, light blue and yellow, etc. I
was autumn. It is true that I do look better in the autumn
shades. But I always thought the whole thing was simply an
excuse to have fashion parties and get women to spend money,
so I didn't give it much credence.
Some colors are said to be hot and some are cold. Red and
yellow are hot, blue and green cold. When I wear a color they
all feel exactly the same to me, so I don't know why some are
hot and some are cold. It must be that they simply look cold
Purple is unusual because it is both hot and cold. I thought
only a hot fudge sundae could be hot and cold at the same
time, or apple pie a alamode. According to what I have read,
though, it is because true purple is a blend of red and blue.
But almost all colors are a mixture of something or another.
Purple is supposed to be the color of royalty. Monarchs wore
purple robes. Royal purple is rather a bright, but there are
also paler colors of purple, like lavender or lilac. I don't
wear any of them. I suppose I have no hope of being a
descendant of a royal ancestor. No point doing my genealogy.
With my aversion to purple, it more likely would turn up some
ancestor I would rather not claim.
There are many weird associations with colors. Pink is for
girls, blue for boys. They say we gender stereotype children
by the way we dress them. If you blended pink and blue, you
would come with - you guessed it - purple. Purple is not
associated with gender; it is worn by both sexes. If we
actually want a gender-neutral color, we should dress our
children in purple.
Many redheads are afraid to wear purple because they think it
clashes with their hair. However, I have a friend whose hair
is auburn. She says purple is her favorite color. She wears it
all the time. It looks okay on her, so why would it not look
good on me?
I was looking at a fashion catalog the other day and saw a
pretty blouse in a purple print. As luck would have it, it
only came in purple. It was a really pretty blouse though. I
feel myself starting to weaken. Maybe it is time to take the
purple plunge. If I bought something purple, would I wear it,
or would it simply hang in the closet because I don't like
One of these days maybe I will buy something purple. The Red
Hat Society ladies think it is okay to wear purple when you
are old, even with a red hat. I can't really remember, but I
have a feeling that purple may be for the winter season of
color. Maybe I'm just not ready to admit that I'm old enough
to wear purple.
I prefer to think that my mother never dressed me in purple as
a child, and now I have the idea that I cannot wear it. It
must be because it clashes with my hair or because I have no
royal blood. My color season could not possibly have changed
from autumn to winter. I can't wear purple because I am way
I have this thing about purple. It does not look good on me.
Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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