Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

    Follow her on 
Facebook and Twitter.

Site Search:


Follow me on Facebook 
Sheila Moss

Create Your Badge
Write on my Wall

National Society of
Newspaper Columnists
Online Since 1999

Pondering Purple....

Pondering Purple

Purple puzzle piecesI have this thing about the color purple. I don't know what it is, but for some reason I have the feeling that I cannot wear purple because it does not look good on me. It may be that I don't look good in any other color either, but I like to think that it is only the color purple.

There used to be an idea that there were seasons of color. Each season had its own group of colors: autumn was gold, brown, rust; spring was pink, light blue and yellow, etc. I was autumn. It is true that I do look better in the autumn shades. But I always thought the whole thing was simply an excuse to have fashion parties and get women to spend money, so I didn't give it much credence.

Some colors are said to be hot and some are cold. Red and yellow are hot, blue and green cold. When I wear a color they all feel exactly the same to me, so I don't know why some are hot and some are cold. It must be that they simply look cold or hot.

Purple is unusual because it is both hot and cold. I thought only a hot fudge sundae could be hot and cold at the same time, or apple pie a alamode. According to what I have read, though, it is because true purple is a blend of red and blue. But almost all colors are a mixture of something or another.

Purple is supposed to be the color of royalty. Monarchs wore purple robes. Royal purple is rather a bright, but there are also paler colors of purple, like lavender or lilac. I don't wear any of them. I suppose I have no hope of being a descendant of a royal ancestor. No point doing my genealogy. With my aversion to purple, it more likely would turn up some ancestor I would rather not claim.

There are many weird associations with colors. Pink is for girls, blue for boys. They say we gender stereotype children by the way we dress them. If you blended pink and blue, you would come with - you guessed it - purple. Purple is not associated with gender; it is worn by both sexes. If we actually want a gender-neutral color, we should dress our children in purple.

Many redheads are afraid to wear purple because they think it clashes with their hair. However, I have a friend whose hair is auburn. She says purple is her favorite color. She wears it all the time. It looks okay on her, so why would it not look good on me?

I was looking at a fashion catalog the other day and saw a pretty blouse in a purple print. As luck would have it, it only came in purple. It was a really pretty blouse though. I feel myself starting to weaken. Maybe it is time to take the purple plunge. If I bought something purple, would I wear it, or would it simply hang in the closet because I don't like purple?

One of these days maybe I will buy something purple. The Red Hat Society ladies think it is okay to wear purple when you are old, even with a red hat. I can't really remember, but I have a feeling that purple may be for the winter season of color. Maybe I'm just not ready to admit that I'm old enough to wear purple.

I prefer to think that my mother never dressed me in purple as a child, and now I have the idea that I cannot wear it. It must be because it clashes with my hair or because I have no royal blood. My color season could not possibly have changed from autumn to winter. I can't wear purple because I am way too young.

I have this thing about purple. It does not look good on me.

Copyright 2012 Sheila Moss


Get the
Humor Columnist Newsletter

Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN  37219


Buy it now!
$5.00 + shipping

      home · best . columns · humor · archives · contact  
    © Copyright 1999-2015 Sheila Moss - All rights reserved - © Template by
The copyright for this website and the material on this website are owned by Sheila Moss.
You may request permission to use the copyrighted materials on this website by writing to Sheila Moss.
Use of these copyrighted materials without written permission may result in legal action against you.