Humor Columnist



















Meet the Columnist

Columnist, Sheila Moss, is humor writer from  Tennessee. She writes  a weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny things that happen to everyone.

   She has written for  the Daily News of Kingsport,   Griffin Journal, Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton Advocate,  and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News Journal. She has been published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks at Guidepost Books.  Her articles have appeared in numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.

    She is a former board member and past  Editor of  the, website of  the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the oldest and largest professional organization for columnists. She is the Web Editor of Southern  and  a founder of the Southern Humorists writers' organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of

    To carry her weekly column in your newspaper, or to republish an article, please contact her. It's that easy. 

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Planet Christmas....

Planet Christmas

"Welcome to Planet Christmas where it is Christmas 365 days a year!"

"Is this for real? How can it be Christmas every day? Everyone knows that Christmas comes only once a year, on December 25th."

"Not here it doesn't; we have December 25th on our calendar 365 times."

"But, what about the other holidays? Don't you miss having other holidays to celebrate?"

"It happened so gradually that we sort of adjusted to the idea a little at a time. First we started celebrating Christmas on Thanksgiving. Instead of shopping on Black Friday, stores opened on Thanksgiving. Shoppers loved having the extra day and so it soon became traditional."

"Where I am from, we are beginning to go that way also, but I don't think we will ever get to the point of celebrating Christmas every day."

"That's what we thought too, but it is amazing how quickly traditions can change. Would you care for a cup of eggnog? You don't have to wait for Christmas as it is already Christmas. People love Christmas. They love giving and receiving gifts. So, why wait? We give gifts every single day of the year."

"How did it come to this? I mean, we start earlier and earlier every year too. It used to be that shopping started right after Thanksgiving, and then right after Halloween. This year I saw Christmas trees going up in stores at the beginning of October."

"That is exactly how it happened with us. Soon we forgot about October and November completely and the other holiday fell one after another like dominos. Who really cares about other holidays anyhow? They are only something in the way of the big holiday, the one all the kids are waiting for. And if anyone really wants turkey and a pumpkin pie, they can have it any day they want."

"Do you have Christmas trees here?"

"Of course we do! We keep our Christmas tree up perpetually. Some people grow them as potted plants and others have artificial trees. It is so much trouble to decorate a tree, why have it for only a week or two? And the colorful lights are so beautiful. Did you notice all the lights? You can't really miss them. We never take our decorations down."

"Well, this is all very strange to me. Don't people get tired of it? What do you do on REAL Christmas?"

"Which 'real' Christmas are you referring to? They are all real here."

"But don't your merchants count on the Christmas season to put them in the black?"

"Are you kidding? Imagine, only one shopping day before Christmas every single day. They love it."

"So you shop every single day, or what?"

"At first people were not sure which Christmas to spend their savings on or when go into credit card debt. But now spending is spread out over the entire year. Instead of buying other things, we now buy only gifts. White gifts in January, chocolate gifts in February, clothing gifts in the spring, wedding gifts, gift vacations, back to school gifts, birthday gifts, and Christmas gift cards if you run out of ideas. It all works out."

"So, it was the commercialization of the season that caused people to start celebrating earlier and earlier?"

"I would blame the businesses entirely. After all, if people didn't come to pre-season Christmas sales, they would not continue to have them. By the way, what would you like for Christmas? I've got to do some last minute shopping so I will be ready for Christmas tomorrow and there is an after-Christmas sale at Macy's today."

"I think I must be dreaming."

"That's what we thought too, but dreams can become realities unless you wake up. Have a Merry Christmas!"


Copyright 2013 Sheila Moss

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