Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
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Online Since 1999
||Somalia Pirate Dog....
The Somalia Pirate Dog
DC - There is another new Top Dog in the White House. It is not a
Portuguese Water Dog; however, it is an unusual dog known as a Somalia
Pirate Dog. The new dog is named "NO", which is a
word that will probably be heard a lot in the dog's new home.
This new dog is not a pedigree dog. He is a mongrel who grew up in the
streets. Abandoned by his first owner, he learned to do whatever he
had to do to survive. Eventually he ended up in an animal shelter,
where he did hard time until he was rescued. The Somalia Pirate Dog
was a gift to the Obama's from Congress -- yet another bailout.
You probably thought that all puppies are "water" dogs, at
least when they first come home. The Somalia Pirate Dog might be
considered a water dog in this respect. He will need to be watched
closely around the White House carpets or he may decide to mark his
While a Portuguese Water Dog is born with webbed feet, it still has
to be taught to swim. The Somalia Pirate Dog, however, is born knowing
how to dog paddle. For a pirate dog, it is sink or swim. He has
learned everything though survival of the fittest. The dogs excel in
dog fighting and burying bones.
Interestingly, both kinds of dogs have hair instead of fur. While the
water dog goes to the groomer on a regular basis to have his hair
groomed and trimmed, the pirate dog wears his hair in a pony tail, as
is traditional with Somalia Pirate Dogs.
Portuguese Water Dogs are historically work dogs. They are called water dogs because they worked on the boats of Portuguese
fishermen in the olden days, where they were considered part of the
crew. It was their task to guard the boats in port, to swim and herd
fish into the nets, to fetch items that fell overboard, and to even take messages from one boat to another.
Somalia Pirate Dogs have a somewhat different background. They worked
on the ships of pirates in historical times where they helped to seize
ships from the crews on the high sea. It was their task to swim to the
other ship, and to viciously hold the crew at bay while the pirates
boarded the ship and robbed it of its cargo of valuables. The favorite
part of these raids for the pirate dogs was looting the galley.
People who own Portuguese Water Dogs have reported that they are high
energy dogs and if not kept busy, will find their own ways to amuse
themselves. They are said to like chewing up paper and may have been
the source of the phrase, "The dog ate my homework."
The modern Somalia Pirate Dogs are also eaters of paper. The pirate
dog is likely to sneak into the Oval Office and chew up any unsigned
Congressional bills or other loose documents that are left on the
President's desk. Pirate dogs are especially fond of chewing up
treaties, which pirates never have liked anyhow.
The Somalia Pirate Dog is a handsome dog. He usually has a black patch
of fur over one eye and is especially cute with a red bandana tied
around his neck. Many activist groups strongly favor mongrel dogs like
the Pirates and
believe they make excellent pets when adopted into good homes.
The Obama's are not the first to bring interesting pets to the White
House. Other Presidents have had pets, from alligators in the bathtub
and white mice, to hippo's and tiger cubs. George Washington even had
a parrot, which might have been the first pet in the White House that
historically belonged to a pirate.
The addition of the Somalia Pirate Dog to the White House is
considered a great political achievement for the current
administration. There is nothing like the success story of an
underdog to get the nation's attention off of other problems.
Copyright 2009 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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