Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Camera Phone Photo....
The Camera Phone Photo
Some people will have a hard time believing this but I am old
enough to be a grandma. In fact, I just became a grandma again
with the birth of my first granddaughter. Now a new grandchild
is a pretty exciting thing. She came three weeks early in the
middle of the night, but I could hardly wait to get the hospital
the next day to see her.
I was trying to remember everything I wanted to take, the potted
plant for my daughter-in-law, the picture album with pictures
from the baby shower that I had intended to take before the baby
came, but didn’t.
It wasn’t until we were almost to the hospital that I realized
that I had forgotten the most important thing - my camera.
Not to worry, says my honey, he has a camera phone! He knew that
thing would come in good for something one of these days. Men
love gadgets. “But, you can’t take good pictures,” I
nagged. “Well, you don’t have any other choice,” he
retorted. Good point.
So we went in to see the new granddaughter who was, of course,
the cutest baby in the hospital. We didn’t check out any of
the other babies, but we didn’t need to as I can attest with
grandparental certainty that no other baby could possibly have
been as attractive as our own.
Grandma was thrilled because she got to hold the small bundle of
joy. I think the baby likes me already because she stopped
fussing when I held her. Of course, honey had to hold her too.
He was certain that she liked him the best. Fat chance!
So where was this camera phone? I needed a picture of this
precious child to send to the relatives. First picture, he cut
off the top of her head. I knew he couldn’t take pictures.
Second try was a picture of his finger. Several more shots that
didn’t come out but were not his fault because “she
moved.” He finally managed to make a decent picture.
We said our farewells and left empty handed except for the
picture on the camera phone. When we got home, I asked honey to
email the picture to my computer so I could see it again and
email it to the relatives in other cities.
He piddled with the phone for a while and couldn’t remember my
email address. More piddling and he couldn’t get it to send.
Finally, I gave up and went to bed. He was still fooling with
the camera phone. Just as I was falling asleep he announced
proudly, “I sent it! It will be in your email tomorrow.”
“Good,” I mumbled as I turned over and fell back asleep.
The next morning I checked my email and the picture wasn’t
there. “Where’s the picture?” “Well, I sent it,” he
replied defensively. If it hasn’t made it overnight I sort of
doubt that it’s coming. Why do I have a feeling that he
didn’t get my email address right?
“Maybe you could send it to yourself and save it on a disk.”
I suggested. He got out the phone. “There is something wrong
with it. It won’t turn on.” Naturally, the stupid phone
would pick this very moment in time to go haywire. I really hate
“I’ll go to the phone center tonight and get it checked,”
he said. The phone center couldn’t fix it either, naturally,
so the company is sending a new phone. The picture is supposedly
still on the computer chip, but I doubt that we will ever see
that picture of my granddaughter while she was
still in the hospital.
All that technology, and I still don’t have a picture. I have
a feeling that if I depend on his camera phone, she will
probably be in college before I get one.
Copyright 2004 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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