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Meet the
Columnist
Columnist, Sheila
Moss, is a free-lance writer from Tennessee. She writes
funny stuff about southern life, women's issues, family
matters and anything else that she finds amusing.
She is
seen weekly in the Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, Daily News of Kingsport (online) and
appears in a monthly humor publication called Foolish
Times. She has written for Atlanta Woman Magazine,
and a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books have recently published a number of her
articles in their Let There Be Laughter series of
books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous other publications, both print and online.
She is a board member and the Web
Editor of Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists, the
oldest and largest professional organization
for news columnists. She is also the Web Editor of
SouthernHumorists.com, as well as this website, HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her self- syndicated weekly column in your
newspaper, or
to republish an
article, please contact her.
He rates are guaranteed affordable. It's that easy.
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National
Society of
Newspaper Columnists
HumorColumnist.com
Online Since 1999
Sheila Moss
PO Box 198019
Nashville, TN 37219
E-Mail
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Theme Park Quiz... |
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Are You
Too OLD for Theme Parks?
Take the Quiz
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Do they give you the senior citizen discount without
checking your ID?
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Do you detest your hair and clothes getting wet?
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Would you like the rides better if they ran them in slow
motion?
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Would you rather go to a restaurant for a meal than eat
corn dogs on an umbrella table?
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Do you think there should be a law against the prices they
charge for soft drinks and plan to write your congressman about it?
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Do you get nervous when there are no adults in line except
you?
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Do your eyes get crossed from watching the racing coasters?
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Did you notice that none of the other women are carrying a purse?
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Do you stop at all the restrooms because you don’t know
if you will find the next one soon enough?
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Do you go inside gift shops and look around just because
they are air-conditioned?
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Do you complain because customer service does not have
blood pressure machines?
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Do you end up walking around in circles all day because you
can’t figure out the map?
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Is your favorite thing about the park all the pretty
flowers?
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Do you buy your sno-cone with cherry syrup instead of lime,
lemon, grape, strawberry, orange, tangerine, blueberry, raspberry,
boysenberry, blackberry, kiwi, or watermelon?
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Does your back hurt? Your neck hurt? Your kidneys hurt? Are
you are sunburned? Or do your feet have blisters?
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Do you spend most of the day planning how you will get even
with the person that talked you into coming here?
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Could a 30 second thrill ride be long enough to last you
for a lifetime?
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Do you buy your souvenirs long before closing time to beat
the last minute rush?
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Do you take Coke cans to the park to get a discount?
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Do you tell young people with baggy pants to pull them up?
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Are you are offended by the suggestive slogans on tee
shirts?
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Have you ever learned a new swear word while on a thrill
ride?
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Have you lost your glasses, your wallet, your hat or your
false teeth, while upside down?
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Do feel you can't make it to the front gate without
oxygen?
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Did you ever buy a three-day pass just to get a free
teeshirt, and then never use either of them.
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Do you think that the generation gap is bigger on a roller
coaster than any other place?
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Is your favorite phrase: "Let me offfff!"?
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Can you remember where you lost your camera, as well as
your supper?
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Will the soles on your tennis shoes melt on hot asphalt?
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Have you ever ridden the tram around the parking lot three
times because you couldn’t remember where you left the car?
SCORING
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Copyright 2000 Sheila Moss
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