Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Little boy lost....
is it that I keep finding myself at amusement parks? It happened
This round actually started when we went to Orlando. What do you
do in Orlando if you donít go to Disney World? But when I got
back and the grandkids found out that I had been to Disney World
-- without them; Well, what could I do except try to make it up
So thatís how the weekend at Dollywood -- with grandchildren
-- came about.
Iím too old for this. If I wanted to go to amusement parks, I
should have stayed young. Unfortunately, that wasnít an option
on the menu.
It wouldnít be so bad if I could keep up with people. But
somehow my honey seems to keep getting himself lost. Of course,
to hear him tell it, itís everyone else that is lost. He knows
exactly where he is.
He reminds of the time when my kids were small and my son got
lost at an amusement park. We all got on a ride, and when we
looked around to count noses, my son was missing.
A lost child is a parentís worse nightmare. I imagined all
sorts of terrible things, but there was no way to get off the
ride and search until it was over. We found him at the ďlost
childrenĒ center, eating an ice cream cone.
Ever since then Iíve been nervous about being separated from
people in a crowd. My kids were the ones with tags pinned to
their shirts with their name, address, and phone number on them,
just in case.
Now I have to worry about losing my honey, who is a grown man.
Thank goodness for cell phones so we can call each other if we
At Universal Studios in Florida, we were all walking along
together when honey stopped to take a picture. The logical thing
would be for him to continue walking down the street until he
caught up with everyone.
When we realized he was not with us, we stopped and waited. We
tried to call his cell phone, but his battery was dead. Well,
heís a grown man. Surely he would realize that he was lost,
find a phone somewhere and call us.
Since the place was closing down for the day anyhow, we decided
to go to the gate and wait. We wondered if there was a place for
lost grownups to go. Surely he would know not to leave the park
He waited for us outside the gate. Finally, he saw us inside.
ďWhere did you guys go?Ē he asked.
So, you can imagine my panic when we walked into the park at
Dollywood and honey disappeared the moment we were inside the
gate. Surely, after the Universal Studios incident, he remembered
to charge his phone this time.
When he eventually found us again, we made emergency plans to
meet at the fountain if we became separated. We spent a lot of
time at the fountain.
I donít know why it is that he canít seem to remember to
charge his phone and canít seem to stay with the rest of the
group. Maybe he hopes that someone will find him and give him an
ice cream cone.
Iíve had other people tell me stories of becoming separated
from children in department stores or crowds. Usually, it is one
problem child that seems to have a knack for getting away from
Did I mention the time honey jumped on the
transit subway just as the door slammed, leaving me standing on
the platform? I didnít think so. I try to forget that little
All I know is that the next time we go anywhere with large
crowds, my honey will be the one wearing the name tag with his
name, address, and my cell phone number on it.
Copyright 2008 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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