really love standing in line! Isn't it great to spend all the time
that you could be spending doing something important simply standing
and looking at the back of someone else's head?
there are lines everywhere and many different options to choose from,
my favorite line is the one in the grocery store. I get to stand in it
at least once a week, and, boy! I can hardly wait to hurry up and fill
my shopping cart to get to the front of the store and wait.
it were not for grocery store lines, just think of all the fun I would
miss. I would probably never get to see that penny pinching shopper
with a hundred discount coupons. I would never get to wait while
someone else writes a check. I would never get to see the people that
try to use the bank machine to pay for their groceries but donít
know how to use it. Heck, I would never even have the fun of waiting
for the checker to call some invisible person in the back of the store
to find the price on an item that is not marked.
course, the thing I would miss most is the person whose credit card is
not approved. Now that is definitely something I really would not want
Actually, I sort of have a "gift" for getting in the slowest
line. Regardless of what line I am in, it is practically a sure
thing that it will be the one where the cash register runs out of tape
or the manager has to be paged for some reason. I really am not sure
how I do this. I guess they just know that I am a person who loves
standing in line and go all out to make me a happy customer.
Standing in line is so much fun that sometimes I will
even switch lines to get from a fast one to a slow one. Can you
believe it? As soon as I switch lines, the broken cash register
instantly begins to work, all items have prices, and the customers
begin to whiz through while I stand in the other line and wait for the
cashier to get more change. It never fails to amaze me how this works!
You probably are thinking by now that I must be a very
boring person. Not at all - I mean, lines were made to stand in,
weren't they? Since everyone has to spend some part of their life
waiting, why not make the most of it? There are many things you can do
while standing in line. You can write a check... Well...maybe not... I
mean, why bother when they have those fancy automatic bank machines
now that zap your money out of your checking account with the mere
push of a button or two.
Of course, there are other fun things to do. Try this
one! Carry a notepad in your pocket or purse and while you are
standing in line, write a letter to the manager of the store that
begins: "Dear Manager, I have been standing in line for 20
minutes, and I just wanted you to know that you need more
cashiers!" How considerate of you to tell the manager about it.
Probably not a thing will be done, but it will give him a warm, fuzzy
feeling to know that the customers care.
Once upon a time, you were able to unload your
groceries on to the conveyor belt when you got to the front of the
line. Now that was really fun! I try to look for stores where I can
still do this.
Can you believe some stores have those boring baskets
that you just push up to the cashier who unloads the groceries as they
are scanned thru the register? Honestly, it is getting to where you
just can't have any fun at all any more. Why, some stores actually
have people that take the groceries out and put them in the car. Avoid
these at all costs! After spending 30 minutes in an exhausting
checkout line, you are always ready for a bit more exercise -
You are probably secretly thinking that I should
change stores. It doesn't seem normal to you for one person to have so
much fun, I suppose. Actually, I've tried that - many times! They are
all the same. They have marketing experts, you see, that spend hours
figuring out to keep the lines long. They measure success by the
length of the lines.
Anyhow....letís forget about lines for a while. I'm
going to go out and relax. Wonder what's playing at the movies?