Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Death of Old Leaky...
The Death of Old
Several months ago, I decided to replace the leaky
icemaker in my fridge. I hesitated about it for a long time as the
refrigerator was old, and I was afraid a new icemaker might be more
than it could handle.
Sure enough, a few months after the new icemaker and the ice cubes
were melted. "This is it," I thought. However, the fridge
seemed to still be working. I noted that it was crammed pretty full
and decided that the problem was because the freezer door had popped
Then last weekend it happened again. However, honey and I had errands
to do and didn't have time to stay home and babysit a refrigerator. We
made sure the freezer door was closed and went on about our merry
It wasn't long before my cell phone rang. "Mom, the ice cube have
melted. I think old leaky has really died this time."
It was the weekend; we had a refrigerator full of frozen food. What to
do? I had tried getting a repairman on the weekend the first time it
acted up and found that voicemail doesn't call back after hours.
I began to calculate how old the refrigerator was. Best I could figure
out, it was about 24 years of age. It had outlived two or three normal
refrigerators already. What could I expect?
"We might as well get a new one," I told my honey. "But
where can anyone buy a refrigerator at 9:00 o'clock at night?"
Fortunately, we were close to an appliance store at the time, so we
wheeled in just before the clock struck 9:00 and the doors were
locked. We were greeted by a salesman, smiling like an alligator
"How can I help you folks?" he hummed, his eyes fixated on
the row of gleaming new stainless steel refrigerators.
"My refrigerator died tonight. I need something new -- something
He looked pained "We do have some dented and scratched models
that are reduced," he confessed, with obvious disappointment.
We looked them over. At this point, I didn't much care, but I figured
I might as well get something flashy if I was going to have to spend
that sort of money.
"When can we get one delivered?"
"These have to be moved to the warehouse and then delivered. Do
you have a truck?" In the South everyone has a truck because,
"You never know when you might one."
"Not being a good redneck, I don't have a pickup." I didn't
much like those dents and scratches anyhow. I might as well just fix old leaky.
We looked over the new ones, which could be delivered right away. I
would settle for a black one, but I really liked the looks of the
stainless steel models better.
Finally, we picked one out, and I wrote a check out of my rainy day
account. If this isn't a rainy day, I don't know what is.
Old leaky continued to chug along, cool, but not really cold. Melted
popsicles ran under the freezer door and down the front, making a
Finally, the gleaming new one arrived. It slid perfectly into the old
spot in the kitchen.
"Looks like you'll be getting a new stove next," said the
deliveryman as they carried old leaky out the door. He would have to
mention that. I hope my stove didn't hear him. It might get ideas.
The next day when we came in from work, there was a big puddle of
water in the middle of the kitchen floor in front of the new fridge. I
thought I was going to cry. As it turned out, however, it wasn't the
refrigerator's fault. We had put the water filter in wrong.
Hopefully, my refrigerator problems are over, at last. Now if the
stove will just suck it in and last a bit longer, maybe I can breath
for a while.
Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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