Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Kate & William Show...
The Kate and William Show
Here it is the day
after the royal wedding, the royal couple is on their royal honeymoon, and I'm
still waiting for my royal invitation which undoubtedly was lost in the royal
mail. It doesn't really matter, though, I didn't have a hat big enough or ugly
enough to wear anyhow.
On second thought, maybe I did. My sister and I found a hat box in my mother's
closet with some from the fifties that are pretty bad. They might rival those
monstrosities on the heads of the English ladies. Oh, well, too late now. We
will have to save them for the next royal wedding or a luncheon of the ladies'
Red Hat Society.
Did you get up early to watch the nuptials on TV? Me neither. I was really
shocked at the number of people who said they did, though. For some reason,
people are still fascinated by a "once upon a time" wedding, complete
with royal carriage, obviously only recently changed from a pumpkin into a
vehicle by a fairy godmother lurking behind a bush somewhere.
I must admit, they did make a lovely couple, he in his red military jacket with
gold braid, she in her much-discussed, white gown and veil with diamond tiara
borrowed from the queen. It was a fairy-tale wedding in spite of the fact that
they have already lived together for eight years. Is that called a fairy tale
or a Hollywood gossip column? Obviously, times have changed.
The fashion critics were foaming at the mouth to see the wedding gown. It
looked pretty much like any other wedding gown to me, yards and yards of lace
and flowing white material, with a train so long someone had to help carry it
so the bride could walk. Even as vows were exchanged, fashion designers went
into overdrive creating fabulous knock-offs, arriving soon in a bridal shop
And how did you like the queen's outfit? I guess queens don't wear crowns
anymore, or at least not to grandson's weddings. No crown, no cape, no nothing.
She just looked like everyone else, or maybe a bit like a royal canary in a
yellow outfit complete with the mandatory yellow hat. How could anyone not
think of Big Bird?
When my grandchildren were playing with Barbie dolls later, I thought they
surely would have material for hours of re-enactment of the Kate and William
show. Somehow, they still seem to prefer Prince Charming and Cinderella. Real
life princes and princesses just don't get the respect they once did.
There is always talk of doing away with royalty in Britain because of the cost
to the taxpayers of maintaining them. Somehow the Brits never get around to it.
They simply adore all the pageantry that surrounds the royalty and the
spectacle of the filthy rich flaunting their wealth.
This is the first really big wedding extravaganza since Charles and Diana were
married. That one didn't end too well with the divorce, scandal, and eventual
death of Diana, who died in a car accident with her then current lover. Charles
ultimately married his mistress Camille and brought her to the wedding to be
arrogantly snubbed by his mother, the queen.
After the honeymoon, the couple will live happily ever after in Whales, or at
least for the time being. The British will have a new royal couple to give
birth to a new generation of princes and princes to be chased by the
So, I suppose I might as well give up on my over-due wedding invitation and
just watch wedding reruns on television like the rest of us common people.
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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