Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
||Brave New iWorld....
grandchildren have a new electronic toy. My daughter calls it
her iPhone. It seems in a moment of sheer insanity, she
downloaded a free game for the girls, thinking it would keep
them quiet in the doctor's waiting room. Since the girls found
out about the new toy, mommy never gets to play with it herself.
The rule is that the only games that are allowed to be
downloaded are the free ones. The problem is that the free games
have bright flashing adds for the improved $3.99 version. The
even bigger problem is that neither of the girls is old enough
to read. When they see a big flashy button, they think it is
part of the game. The rest is history.
Daughter figured it out after she got the $112 credit card bill
from Apple iTunes. Now the girls have to be supervised better
when they play with mom's toy.
It's strange how kids seem to instinctively be able to play with
these sophisticated electronics. The girls also like my
grandson's iPad. While an adult will spend hours trying to
figure out how to use an app, a kid can pick an iPad and have it
playing tunes on the Disney site in 20 seconds.
After five months, I'm still trying to learn to use an iPhone.
The only good thing to report is that my texting skills are
getting better. Now that I have figured out the phone can spell
better than I can, it's become a lot easier. It fixes all my
mistakes and just keeps going.
The iPad, iPod, and iPhones have all sorts of sophisticated
iGames on them that are downloaded off iTunes, for example,
"Pop the Bubble Wrap." Now that's an intellectual game
that can hold your attention. And you don't even have to buy new
bubble wrap when all the bubbles are popped.
My daughter was excited when she found out that my Wi-Fi
connection downloaded games really fast. She filled up her phone
with games figuring she could transfer them to the old iPod when
she got home and give it to the girls instead of letting them
play with her iPhone. Of course, the iPod idea didn't work out
all that well. Since there are two kids, they now each have a
toy and mom still doesn't have one.
I really don't understand the attraction of having a telephone
that doubles as an electronic toy. I'm sure I must be missing
out on something very important by not downloaded music or
games. I'm so far behind the times that I don't even know what
that something is. Sometimes I even dial instead using the
directory or the voice app. I do use the touch pad instead of a
dial, so don't laugh too hard.
I know how to post on Facebook, though, and with my new text
messaging skills, I can almost pass for cool. I managed to fool
the "Guess Your Age" game on my daughter's phone into
thinking I am forty-six, even though I don't watch the Simpsons.
It was either the fact that I send several text messages a day
or that I eat a large number of hamburgers. Who would think that
eating hamburgers is a way to stay young.
I must admit that finger painting with an IPad has its
advantages over letting kids paint with the real stuff. I really
don't understand why you need a computer to pay tic-tac-toe,
though. I guess it is like a lot of things, it is done with a
computer only because it can be done.
The worse, absolutely worse, game, however, is one of the
children's favorites. The name alone is enough to convince me
that I don't want it on my iPhone. The only skill required is a
fast thumb and a strong stomach. It is called "Smash the
Copyright 2011 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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