Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
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Online Since 1999
Spring is here! It's time to renew and revive. There's no time like
spring for a few home improvements!
Actually, it all started last winter while we were gone to my
grandsonís birthday party and we had that hailstorm. When I got
home, the yard was full of hailstones. I figured the roof was okay. It
wasnít until later that the water started coming through the living
room ceiling. Then I noticed that everyone on the street was suddenly
getting a new roof Ė except me.
How could it be that everyone else had roof damage and I didnít?
There was nothing to do at that point, but get the roof fixed. Those
variegated shingles look so much better and than the old roof and it
is such a pretty shade of gray now.
Naturally, something had to be done about the spot on the ceiling and
wall where the water had leaked in, so there was no choice except to
paint the entire living room and hall. It was not my fault either that
the curtains fell apart when I washed them. I opened up the washer and
found a big ball of string where my curtains used to be. Guess I
forgot how old they actually were.
As any woman knows, get something new and it makes everything else
looks dreadfully shabby. That old front door looked absolutely awful
after the new paint job on the rest of the room. Iíd wanted to get
it replaced for ages anyhow, and this was the perfect time.
Well, I got all that fixed and wouldnít you just know it? The
carpenter that fixed the door was also a painter. He couldn't help but
notice how much my house needed an exterior paint job. Iíve never
liked the color anyhow and with the new roof, it looks tackier than
Iím really excited about getting it painted. It is going to look
great. Iím having trouble deciding on a color, though. My grandson
suggested red. Never ask a four-year-old what color to paint a house.
Iím thinking that maybe gray would match the roof best. I got a
paint chart and canít believe all the different shades of gray there
Before the house could be painted, I had to get the shrubs trimmed
back. The yard guy wanted to just dig them all up and replace them as
they are really overgrown, but I had to draw the line somewhere. I
canít do that and recarpet the living room too. Since the door is
fixed, Iíve been thinking how much better the living room would look
with new carpeting.
My honey asked me if I was going to redecorate the whole house. Men
are so silly! Why on earth would I do that? He would be perfectly
happy with peeling paint and buckets to catch the water coming through
the ceiling. Men donít understand that the roof and exterior paint
must coordinate, not to mention the walls, drapes, and carpeting. I
wonder if it matters whether the inside and outside coordinate?
I really think my furniture will work okay with the color scheme. No
point going overboard with this redecorating, even though Iíve not
done any major home improvement in at least 10 years.
This should be all I need to do for a long time - unless you consider
the bathrooms. Come to think of it, Iím getting tired of that
wallpaper in the bathroom too. Wouldnít it be a coincidence, if the
carpenter turned painter also does wallpaper? Maybe Iíll ask him Ė
as long as he is going to be here anyhow.
Remind me not to let my grandson pick the color for the wallpaper,
Copyright 2003 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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