The Truth About Women - He Says
The truth about women is they canít be pleased. They
spend their whole lives waiting for a man to do something wrong just
so they can say, "I told you so."
Women never shut up. They are born to nag. They like
to nag so much, they even find fault with men when they are asleep.
They claim that men snore. The truth is that no man has ever heard
And when a woman isnít nagging, she is complaining.
Something is always hurting. She has a migraine, her feet hurt, or her
back bothers her. Women always want to go to doctors. Men donít like
to go to doctors. A man will wait until he is nearly dead before
Women donít appreciate men or how hard they work,
even though they are working mostly to support women.
Women nag men to do petty chores like taking out the
trash, things demeaning to a manís dignity. Women try to expel them
from their home and castle by making them do outside jobs like cutting
the grass. If it was up to a man, he could get by with a mattress and
Women waste entirely too much time cleaning the house.
Who notices if the house is clean or not except the man? And the truth
is that he doesnít care. If women have so much energy, why not spend
it doing something useful like waxing and polishing the car?
And women always want to "decorate" their
home. Why do they need to decorate, except to spend money? Women also
like to spend money shopping. Why do they need to shop? If they want
something, they should just go into the store and buy the first thing
they see. Thatís what a man would do.
Women take better care of the kids than they do the
man. If a child falls down and skins his knee, they rush him to the
bathroom to put medicine and band-aids on the injury, and give him a
hug. When a man falls down, they accuse him of indulging in strong
Women are always nagging men about cholesterol and
calories too. Why canít women just watch their own calories? A man
is seldom overweight. He typically just has a small weight
distribution problem causing everything to settle in the middle.
Women always want to make a mountain out of a
molehill. Just because a man brings part of the car engine inside and
leaves it on the kitchen table, they threaten to divorce him. Trivial!
Women want the home to be perfect.
Even though the man is not a plumber and knows nothing
about fixing stuff, they expect him to do home repairs. Then when the
man messes something up and a real repair person has to be paid
overtime, the woman becomes upset.
Women have their faults too. For example, women are
very jealous creatures. Just because a man spends a bit too much time
looking at a new babe at the pool, they accuse him of cheating. Why
donít they understand that it is his duty as a man to check out the
new babes and report back to other men, preferably over a beer?
Actually, a man is much better off as a bachelor and
he does not even have to shave every day either. A few empty beer
bottles and sink full of dirty dishes do not make him a bad person. A
ring in the bathtub does not mean than he is dirty, only that he does
not like to spend valuable time cleaning the bathroom, especially if
it is time for his favorite program to come on TV. Women need to learn
to keep priorities straight.
Another problem women have is always wanting to
socialize. Men donít want to socialize; they want to stay home and
watch television, something that wonít talk back or try to dance
Speaking of television, women never understand the
need for more than one remote control. But any man can easily explain
at least two, and sometimes more.
A women thinks that the need to pass wind or belch is
obnoxious instead of understanding natural body functions. They think
that sleeping should be done in the bed instead of on the sofa. Why?
There is just no way to satisfy a woman. The only
thing she is good for is sex and even that takes too long. If a man
can get in the mood without foreplay why canít she?
Women are impractical. They expect stupid gifts like
flowers. They expect men to remember the dates of their birthday and
anniversary even though the event was years ago. What a waste. Any man
can tell you the only really good gift is a big screen TV or tickets
to a hockey match.
Women cannot understand the taste of a fine cigar or a
shot of bourbon. A woman thinks that a man smokes or drinks just for
the express purpose of annoying her.
Men donít try to engage women in meaningful
conversations. The only meaningful conversation that a man is
interested in is who is the most valuable player and what time the big
game comes on. Women never know when to shut up. They talk too much.
Women are always accusing men of not listening. Of course, they are
not listening; they are watching the instant replay.
It takes a woman forever to get ready to go someplace.
A man can get ready in ten minutes. When she is finally ready, she
wants to be complimented on how she looks. If a man says the woman
looks nice, she accuses him of being up to something. If he does not
say that she looks nice, she accuses him of being insensitive.
Thatís why men donít give compliments. They are trying to stay out
When the woman is ready to go, she always want the man
to do the driving in order to be able to criticize his driving. Women
drivers are overly cautious. Thatís why they have so many accidents.
You have to knock them out of the way to get by them.
Well, I sure hope weíve set the record straight
about the differences between the sexes. I just figured it was about
time that men spoke up and quit being accused of lying about it.
The funny thing about sexism is that there is usually
just enough truth to make it seem believable. Of course, sexism is
just a fallacy. It doesnít really exist at all Ė he says.
Read The Truth
About Men - She Says