Moss, is humor writer from Tennessee. She writes a
weekly human interest column about daily life and the funny
things that happen to everyone.
She has written for the Daily News of Kingsport, Griffin Journal,
Oakridge Now, Atlanta Woman Magazine, Aberdeen Examiner, Angleton
Advocate, and Smyrna AM, a supplement of the Murfreesboro Daily News
Journal. She has been
published by Voyageur Press, McGraw Hill, and the good folks
at Guidepost Books. Her articles have appeared in
numerous anthologies and other publications, both in print and online.
She is a
former board member and past Editor of the Columnists.com, website of the National Society of Newspaper
oldest and largest professional organization
for columnists. She is the Web Editor of
Humorists.com and a founder of the Southern Humorists writers'
organization. She is writer, editor, and webmaster of HumorColumnist.com.
To carry her weekly column in your
to republish an
article, please contact her. It's that easy.
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Online Since 1999
||The Gift Card...
You are the recipient of American's most wanted gift, the gift
card. The gift card can be exchanged for many useful and
necessary items. Cash is not one of them.
Please read the following instructions to learn how to use your
new gift card.
Gift cards come with a number of different designs on the front.
Ignore the picture; it is the amount that the card will purchase
that matters, and they are all spent exactly the same way. You
can tell how much the balance is on the card by calling the phone number conveniently located on the back of
the card and entering the secret identification number, also on
the back of the card.
When you have decided what you want to purchase with your gift
card, take it to the retail store indicated on the front of the
card. This will most likely be a store you have never heard of
with items you are not interested in buying. This is how friends
encourage you to try new experiences and to acquire items that
you cannot afford. Also, it is how retailers make extra profit
from gift cards.
Regardless of the item you select, it will always cost more than
the gift card is worth and you will have to pay the additional
amount yourself. In this way you are assured of receiving a gift
that is exactly what you want, regardless of whether the giver
can afford it or not.
In the unlikely event that you select an item which is less
expensive than the value of the gift card, you will have
approximately $1.58 left on the card. You will then need to
carry it around for the rest of your life, or until you find
another item that you want to purchase and remember to use the
Gift cards are plastic money, like credit cards, except after
they are spent you cannot continue buying with them. You can,
however, have them reactivated in whatever amount you wish to
pay. Why on earth you would want to reactivate a gift card has
never been explained. You can also keep the worthless card as a
souvenir after you use it. You will most likely forget that it
is spent and try to spend it again a few months later.
If you do not want to use your gift card right away, you can
save it until you actually need something and use it at that
time. This will give you ample opportunity to lose it or
misplace it before it is spent. You can have lost or stolen
cards replaced as long as you have the number which is
conveniently located on the back of the card that you lost and
the receipt which is normally retained by the giver.
If you purchase an item with your gift card and later decided
that you do not want or need it, most stores will allow you to
return it for a full refund in the form of another gift card. In
fact, the trend is to give all refunds in the form of gift
cards. You can then use the card to re-gift someone when you do
not know what to buy for a gift.
Gift cards have become so popular that some stores sell not only
cards for their own store, but cards for other stores as well. A
wide variety of colorful designs for all occasions are now
available. Customers may have almost as much trouble selecting
the right gift card as they would in selecting the right gift.
The biggest gift of all that is given with gift cards is to
retailers who make about $8 billion per year in profit from
unused and unspent gift cards.
Copyright 2006 Sheila Moss
Nashville, TN 37219
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